As part of my newsletter, The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.
Here’s this week’s edition. Enjoy.
Today’s Idea:
Contrary to what you might believe, your ex doesn’t always walk away from a relationship feeling carefree or relieved. In many cases, they experience a nasty cocktail of guilt, sadness, doubt, and uncertainty. If not early on, definitely after the first few weeks post-breakup.
They might wonder if they made the right decision. Thus, they constantly shift between returning and moving on, ultimately staying stuck in pure passivity.
They may want to reach out and fix things but are held back by pride. After all, admitting breaking up was a mistake can feel embarrassing, especially after telling everyone it’s over.
They could feel that mending things is just too risky (even though they keep flirting with the idea). Because past experiences show that things didn’t work out and make them extra cautious about trying again.
So, no — your ex probably doesn’t have it as easy as you’d think. Breakups are rarely smooth sailing for either party involved.
Today’s Suggestion:
Instead of seeing your ex as going through the breakup on “easy mode,” try to recognize that they, too, are human, navigating their own set of challenges and emotions. They’re just challenges and emotions that are sometimes different from yours and, thus, often unrelatable.
That said, be cautious. Whenever you find yourself going from simply thinking about your ex’s experience to overthinking it, shift your focus back to yourself. Because while it’s fun to ruminate on your ex, what really matters is getting yourself straightened out.
Today’s Resource:
The Stages And Psychology Of Dumpers Remorse — a guide on what your ex is likely going through after a breakup and how to navigate their experience to ultimately mend your relationship.
As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. While I can’t respond to everyone, I do read everything.
Until next time,
Max Jancar
Every Monday I send out an email with one idea, suggestion, and resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love. Enter your email to join the newsletter.