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Tell me if this sounds familiar: you tried your hardest to make it work with your ex. You fought fiercely and bravely, but despite your best efforts, they’ve blocked you. On everything. Phone, Facebook, Instagram, you name it! And now you helplessly wonder why you’re blocked and how the hell to deal with it.
Maybe you’re worried that you said something wrong. Maybe you’re worried that you’ve come off as an asshole. Maybe you’re worried about what your ex thinks of you. Or perhaps what you’re really worried about is them moving on for good, discarding you as though you never meant anything to them. Like they never really valued you.
Whatever your case, it probably prompted you to ask yourself various questions: Why did my ex block me? For how long will I stay blocked? Do they not love me anymore? Are they hurt? How do I get them to unblock me? Do I still have a chance to get them back?
In this article, I’ll answer these questions, as well as many related ones. So buckle up, bitch.
Why Has My Ex blocked Me On Everything?
Most people deep down know why their ex blocked them. And while it may be a combination of multiple reasons, there’s always at least one that sticks out like a bloody corpse on a busy street.
To make figuring out why your ex blocked you easier, here are the most common reasons why they’ve done it:
- You were more concerned with how they perceive you than how you perceive yourself — a.k.a, you’ve been needy.
- You sacrificed your identity for them (i.e., values, beliefs, goals, character).
- You were controlling, clingy, and suffocating.
- You didn’t know how or were unwilling to stand up for yourself and assert your boundaries.
- You’ve ended your relationship on bad terms.
- They’re angry and resentful with you.
- They want space away from you (even more space than usual if they’re an avoidant).
- They don’t want to risk postponing their recovery by staying in touch with you or seeing any of your status updates, social media posts, or general updates on your life.
- They’re testing you (or they’re actually rejecting you, and you just hope they’re testing).
- They’re a sick fuck who wants to play with your heart to get their revenge.
- You’ve tried to guilt or manipulate them into getting back together with you.
- You continued to stalk them on social media, and they saw it.
- They hate you — or at least hate your guts.
- You were a creep and still engaged with their social media posts as though you were still together.
- They thought, “Meh, I’ll probably never talk to this person anymore.”
- They’ve found someone new (and don’t want you to see it or want to make it known to their new partner that they’re not involved with you anymore).
- They need an ego boost and regain a sense of control.
- They don’t trust themselves not to reach out to you. (Think how hard it is to not get in touch with your ex sometimes. Maybe they’re going through the same motions.)
- They feel guilty for breaking up and don’t want you to remind them of their mistake.
Sometimes people tell me that they have no idea why their ex blocked them. And then they transition into whining about how they didn’t do anything wrong and how the world is unfair. “My ex blocked me for no reason,” they whimper.
Here’s the deal: while you haven’t necessarily done anything wrong, your ex always has a good reason for blocking you. You’re just not aware enough to discern it. Or you know it but are in denial.
Seriously, I’ve met people who called their ex five times in a row just to ask how they are and had no fucking clue that what they’re doing is not only unattractive and creepy but also terrifying.
Regardless of why your ex blocked you, it’s pointless to loom over it. It won’t do your mental health and well-being any good. If you know the reason, you know it. And if you don’t, you don’t. You move on in either case.
Is It Good That My Ex Blocked Me On Everything?
Most people look at me funny when I tell them this, but the fact that your ex blocked you on everything is, in fact, a good thing. Hell, it’s usually a great thing. Here are just some of the benefits of being blocked.
What will my ex text next? When will they call? Have they messaged me back yet? What’s new in their life? Are they dating anyone else? It’s these questions that most of us ask whenever we find ourselves coming out of a relationship.
Preventing yourself from obsessing about your ex is by itself a grind to pull off, but now that you’re blocked, it gets easier. And although it may be frustrating initially, it’s actually helping you get rid of an otherwise toxic post-breakup habit.
Since your ex blocked you, they lowered the chances that you’ll come across their social media posts that could potentially reopen your breakup wounds and set you down a negative-thinking spiral.
Even better, fewer reminders mean you’ll be more inclined to focus on yourself — you know, the thing you can actually exert some control over.
You know those times when you want to reach out to your ex and profess your unyielding love even though you know it will only do you (and them) harm?
Well, if your ex blocked you, you’ll have fewer temptations to do it since your communication has been cut. Hence, fewer chances of screwing up re-attraction, prolonging your recovery, and making a fool out of yourself.
There’s always a reason you broke up with your ex. But that reason often gets whitewashed due to panic. In fact, it’s panic that makes you shift your focus from things like your ex cheating on you or disrespecting you to things like how great your first date was.
In other words, it’s because of panic that you hone in on the few pleasant memories of your dead relationship instead of seeing that the reality of your relationship wasn’t all that good.
Luckily, when your ex blocks you, while it does increase your panic in the short term, it decreases it in the long.
Is It True That If Your Ex Blocks You, You Win?
There’s a weird belief floating around the breakup industry that I never really understood: “If your ex blocks you, you win.” This mentality is undeniably a recipe for toxic relationships.
Your ex blocking you is not the equivalent of a temper tantrum as the people with this weird belief assume (and even if it is, you shouldn’t be proud or feel like a “winner” because of it), but a form of maturity — it’s the equivalent of enforcing a personal boundary.
Ultimately, there are no “winners” and “losers” in breakups. Only two (or more) people who fucked up their relationship and now feel bad for it.
Sometimes one of these people blocks the other one, and that’s okay. It doesn’t really mean anything, nor is it a big deal. Hell, it happens to most people.
Does My Ex Still Love Me If They Blocked Me On Everything?
No, your ex probably isn’t in love with you if they blocked you. As you’ve read earlier, there’s only a minority of reasons your ex blocked you related to them still feeling something for you. The majority of them are related to you doing something unattractive or being someone unattractive.
If you’re asking this question, chances are, you’re desperate to get back with your ex. Or you’re at least holding on hope that you’ll get back with them eventually. In this case, just know that love itself won’t save your relationship, nor ever make it last. Love is not enough.
Why Has My Ex Blocked Me But Then Unblocked Me?
Because they’re confused about you.
Maybe they’re torn between checking your social media for updates from your life (i.e., getting a new partner) and letting you go. Or they’re torn between calling you up and asking you if you’d like to get back together and leaving you alone for a few more days. Or even between asking you for their stuff back and not asking you because it would make you feel even more rejected.
Another explanation for why your ex keeps blocking and unblocking you could be because they’re testing you — they want to see how you react to their mixed signals.
But then again, this is probably not the case. Most of what you think are your ex’s “tests” are more likely just rejections. And you’re just too defensive and scared to see the difference.
How Long Will It Take Until My Ex Unblocks Me?
No idea. It’s different for everyone. Some people get unblocked in a matter of hours. Some in a matter of days. Some in a matter of years. And some never get unblocked. Flip a coin, I guess.
Still, one key factor that influences when your ex may unblock you is their attachment style. If they’re an avoidant — which is likely the case — they’ll want plenty of space, thus keeping you blocked for longer than usual.
Avoidant or not, however, the two things that matter during your time being blocked are that you’re patient and avoid sabotaging your chances of getting your ex back even further through unattractive behaviors.
For instance, calling or texting your ex when they haven’t put any effort into reconnecting with you, stalking them around town, or blatantly showing up at their doorstep unannounced.
My Ex Blocked Me But Still Talks To Me, What Gives?
If your ex blocked you but still talks to you after they dumped you, it likely means you still see them in person despite being blocked digitally. Maybe you work together, share a kid, or live in the same space.
In these cases, you should communicate with your ex only when necessary and only when it’s about a problem or challenge you’re trying to arrange or resolve concerning shared responsibilities. (See: modified no contact).
Will being in frequent contact hinder your breakup recovery? Sure. But it’s not like you always have a choice. Besides, you’ll still get over your breakup eventually. It’ll only take longer than if you’d cut your ex out of your life for good — or if they’d cut you.
My Ex Unblocked Me But Still Hasn’t Reached Out, What Gives?
If your ex unblocked you, be it after weeks, months, or years, and hasn’t reached out yet, they’ve probably done it because:
- It’s a kind gesture, and they don’t want to come off as mean.
- They’re worried or scared about how you’ll react.
- They feel uncomfortable talking to you.
- They’re afraid of hurting you again.
- They’ve had a random urge that vanished as quickly as it manifested.
Ultimately, if your ex unblocked you, they may still harbor feelings for you, yet, since they haven’t reached out, you can’t know for sure. Nevertheless, proceed as always: let them go.
If they’ve unblocked you, don’t think that they’ve given you the green light to reach out and try to get them back. Leave them be. It’s probably because of your excessive reaching out that they’ve blocked you in the first place. If your ex ever wants to rekindle your relationship, they will let you know.
What To Do If My Ex Blocks Me, How Do I Handle It?
Let’s first talk about how not to handle your ex blocking you since there is so much misinformation out there. Generally speaking, never try to force, cajole, manipulate, or use some sneaky trick to make your ex unblock you.
This means no new profile picture for the sake of making your ex jealous. No showcases of happy and exciting updates from your life on Instagram for the sake of making your ex miss you. No telling your friends how great you’re doing or how you’re balling in pussy (or dick) when you’re not.
These behaviors will lead you nowhere. Besides, if you never posted anything on social media before, and now you suddenly start spamming posts about how happy you are, it’s a dead giveaway.
Your ex will immediately see through your bullshit and figure out what you’re doing. Therefore, they’ll lose trust, respect, and attraction for you. So much in fact that you’ll never be able to get them back.
Now, here’s how you should respond when your ex blocks you: accept the living shit out of being blocked and move the fuck on.
Yes, even if you want them back. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but letting your ex go is the first step to getting back together with them. And hell, if you’re feeling extra ballsy, block them back.
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