40 Unmistakable Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back - Max Jancar
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40 Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back

By Max Jancar | Updated: March 12, 2022 | 22 Minute Read | Re-Attraction

signs your ex will eventually come back

I get it. You want to know the chances of getting your ex back, so you’re educating yourself on the signs that will help you determine those chances — the signs your ex will eventually come back. I commend you for your commitment. But here’s some sobering advice.

The more you obsess over these signs (or your chances of reconciliation in general), the likelier it is that you’ll sabotage the entire re-attraction process and mutilate your emotional well-being and spiritual health.

Don’t get me wrong, though. There’s nothing toxic about being aware of the signs your ex will eventually come back. The toxic part is obsessing about them.

Luckily, there is a healthier alternative to the whole thing. And in this article I’ll explain it in detail. But first, let me start from the beginning so you’ll be on the same page about what we’re even discussing.

Do Exes Even Come Back

Most of us enter the “get your ex back” world not even knowing that a lot of our beliefs about reconciliation are skewed to begin with. So let’s first get clear about the chances of whether or not your ex will eventually come back.

In short, no. They probably won’t. Most exes do not come back. And even if they do, keeping them after you get back together is even less likely to happen.

To my knowledge, the only legit statistics on couples who broke up and got back together are from Kevin Thompson. Kevin made a 3000+ participant study in which he found that about 30% of them reconciled with their ex, but only 15% actually stayed together for good. The other 15% split, yet again, about a year later.

A skeptic would ask me, why I believe this guy? I mean, he is operating in the “get your ex back” industry, which is notorious for ripping people off with false hope, false promises, false information, false everything.

Well, for one, I’m getting near identical results with my clients. About 15-30% of those who want their ex back actually do get them back and stay with them long term.

But Kevin and I are aren’t the only people seeing these kinds of percentages. Other legit personalities are stumbling on them as well. Jesse Martin, a breakup coach, and Corey Wayne, a renowned life coach, being the most vocal.

Again, a skeptic may ask, why trust the two?

Well, even though Jesse and Corey help people get their ex back, their business is not based on that premise alone. In fact, the topic takes a minor role in it. So making up lofty statistics about whether exes come back or not is not of much use to them.

It’s also a plus that their online businesses have squeaky clean track records: no overhyped products, shady marketing, false scarcity, or hyper-promotional and spammy behaviors.

Ultimately, I would argue that the odds of your ex eventually coming back, are between 10 and 30 percent. Still, the answer can quickly boil down to “it depends…”

(I know, I know… everyone hates that answer.)

…It depends on:

Apart from the above, there are plenty more factors that influence how often exes come back. Factors so intricate and vague that they’re almost entirely unmeasurable. And that’s fine because that’s how relationships are — complex, chaotic, unpredictable.

The Signs your ex will eventually come back

Below I’ve accumulated 40 signs your ex will eventually come back. To be clear however, just because your ex displays any of these signs doesn’t necessarily mean they actually will get back together with you. Think of them more as signals of high interest and not guarantees for reconciliation.

1. Your ex initiates contact. They may suddenly call and ask how you’re doing or text you about a movie that reminded them of you. The context of their contact is usually irrelevant. If they initiated any form of it (assuming they’re not looking for a fight and aren’t interested in discussing logistics like children, pets, living arrangements, work, or possessions), it’s usually a sign they will eventually come back.

2. Your ex contacts you regularly. The more frequently they do, the higher the likelihood that it’s a sign they will come back. It’s that simple.

3. Your ex responds quickly and enthusiastically. This is a very subjective one. But, for the most part, if you’re getting a string of quick and enthusiastic responses from your ex, it’s a sign they will come back.

4. Your ex keeps contacting you even though you’ve told them to stop. Translation: they’re panicking. Yes, it is a glaring sign that your ex will come back, but proceed with caution. If you get back together because of panic or anxiety, you’ll likely break up again since neither of you had the time to work on yourself and overcome that panic and anxiety, as well as any other personal issues that led to your breakup.

5. Your ex is curious about you. For example, they keep asking how you’re doing, how your studies are going, how your career is unfolding, or even how your dating life is turning out. The more questions they ask, and the more personal and inquisitive, the more likely it is that they will come back.

6. Your ex drunk-texts you. For example, they go on a 1 am monologue about how much they hate you yet still miss you, but only because they want to fuck you, but then again, would consider something more serious — or anything of a similar shade. It’s a sign your ex will come back. Especially, if they keep drunk-texting you consistently over the following weeks or months.

7. Your ex reaches out on special occasions/holidays. For example, they wish you a merry Christmas, a happy birthday, a happy new year, and so forth. If your breakup happened a long time ago, this probably isn’t a sign your ex will come back, but more likely a gesture of kindness. However, if your breakup happened recently, it might be.

8. Your ex keeps creating excuses to talk to you. They could say, “I just remembered I left XYZ at your place?” or “Have you seen my missing teddy bear?” or “I just want to know how your family is doing?.” The truth is, they couldn’t care less about those things. They’re just using them to get in touch with you because they miss you and are probably too scared (or don’t know how) to tell you that upfront. In other words, it’s a sign your ex will eventually come back.

9. Your ex tells you they want to spend time with you. Maybe they call you, text you, or tell you this in person. In any case, it’s an obvious sign that they will come back.

10. Your ex apologizes to you for what went wrong. They own their mistakes and express them to you. For example, they say something like, “I’m sorry I acted so controlling when we were together. I know I have a problem. I’m getting help tomorrow.” Sometimes this response sprouts up from your ex’s guilt. But other times, it sprouts up from their high attraction, in which case, it’s a sign they will come back.

11. Your ex prolongs your conversations. For example, whenever you’d like to end a conversation, they come up with more questions that keep you from getting away. If this happens only once or twice, I wouldn’t think much about it. But if you notice that your ex is prolonging a conversation that should have ended ten exchanged ago continually, it’s probably a sign that they will come back.

12. Your ex brings up past hurts. For example, they tell you, “When you did XYZ, it made me feel let down/unloved/hurt.” Statements like that indicate that your ex still cares about you and you could interpret them a signs they’ll come back.

13. Your ex brings up old memories. For example, “remember the time when we went to that park, and I snorted cocaine off your tits while you were having an epileptic seizure. Yeah, good times.” Generally speaking, if your ex gives hints about how great things were in the past during your conversations, it’s a sign that they still have feelings for you, and will come back.

14. Your ex places themselves into your orbit. Sometimes your ex will purposefully go places where they know you’ll be at. So if you keep seeing them wherever you go, it might be because they’re deliberately placing themselves there to make it easy for you to re-attract them. Hence, it’s a sign that they will come back. But then again, it could just be a coincidence. Be cautious how you interpret this one.

15. Your ex makes non-accidental eye contact with you. Humans are wired to make eye contact with whatever they find interesting and are curious about. So if your ex keeps looking at you when you’re in the same place — even if it’s 10% more than normal — it’s a sign they want you back. The same can be said when they stare at you amid a conversation.

16. Your ex displays body language that shows they’re interested. For example, whenever you’re around, they check you out, face toward you, smile a lot when interacting, and laugh too much when you’re telling them stupid or corny jokes that you deep down know aren’t funny. All big signs your ex will come back.

17. Your ex is standing close to you while you’re talking to them. Self-explanatory. If they’re standing slightly within your bubble of personal space, you could, most of the time, consider it as a sign that they will come back.

18. Your ex approaches you. This goes without saying, although a lot of people are oblivious to it. If you’re going about your day when suddenly your ex approaches you — like when they initiate contact — it’s a sign they will eventually come back.

19. Your ex keeps touching you when you talk. No, it’s not just a friendly gesture. If they keep putting their hands on your arms or legs or are reciprocating your touches, they’re probably interested in getting back together.

20. Your ex invites you out. This one’s pretty obvious. Of course, your ex will come back if they asked you out, even if they brushed it off like it’s no big deal. Still, don’t get your nipples too hard about the whole thing. There’s always a chance that you’ll screw something up later in the re-attraction process.

21. Your ex hangs out with your friends. Self-explanatory. If your ex keeps hanging out with your friends — this excludes mutual friends — they’re probably curious about you. Hence, they will eventually come back.

22. Your ex ditches their friends for you. Meaning they leave their friends behind or even cancel their shared plans just so they can spend more time with you. This is often a difficult thing to do for your ex, so consider it a huge sign they will come back if they actually end up doing it.

23. Your ex stays in touch with your family. When determining whether this is a sign that your ex will come back or not, consider the whole context. Ask yourself, why are they staying in contact with your family? If they don’t have any good reason to do so, it probably is a good sign, but if not — if they’re just tight with them — then it’s usually not a good sign.

24. Your ex contacts your friends and asks about you. For example, they ask them about what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, what’s going on in your life, and whether or not you missed or mentioned or still love them. It’s a clear sign they want you back. An offshoot of it would be when your ex gets their friends to contact you to tell you something in their name.

25. Your ex’s friends and family still contact you. This is a tricky sign. Out of the two, I would lean on the side that if your ex’s friends contact you, perhaps surprisingly enthusiastically, then there’s a good chance your ex still feels something for you and will come back. But if it’s only their parents who contact you, I wouldn’t think much about it.

26. Your ex defends you. If they’re quick to jump to your defense and always take your side when, say, certain people are talking shit about you, it’s a big sign your ex wants you back. They’re sub-communicating that they’re on your team and that you can rely on them.

27. Your ex blocks and unblocks you. If your ex blocks you and then randomly unblocks you one day, there’s a small chance that they will come back. Normally, these block-unblock gestures are simply made out of kindness and not necessarily a desire to reconcile. Be wary of this.

28. Your ex keeps blocking and unblocking you. They do this because they’re confused about whether they want to talk to you or not — whether they want to let you go or get you back. Another reason why they do it could be because they’re trying to stop themselves from cyber-stalking and texting or calling you. In any case, it’s a sign your ex will come back.

29. Your ex keeps making social media posts about you. Is your ex splattering their social media profiles with cringeworthy inspirational quotes, sayings about empowerment and independence, or with just about anything that’s out of the ordinary? Well, if so, it’s probably because they’re hurt and want you back, albeit slightly secretly.

30. Your ex tries to make you jealous. For example, they start posting on social media provocative pictures with attractive people of the opposite sex or begin bragging to their friends about how great they’re doing, how much fun they’re having, and how much they’re dating. While these behaviors are signs of immaturity and shallowness, they’re also a sign your ex wants you back.

31. Your ex gets jealous when they find out you’re dating other people. This is a dead giveaway. If they didn’t have feelings for you anymore, they couldn’t care less about who you’re dating.

32. Your ex wears something that was yours or that you may have given them. This is most commonly a piece of clothing. Think of it as a comfort object: an item used to provide your ex with psychological comfort while you aren’t there with them. Big sign they’ll come back right there.

33. You broke up with your ex for external factors and they express regret. Sometimes breakups occur because of external factors, like long-distance or familial/peer/societal pressure. Because of these external factors, your ex pulls the plug too quickly and thereafter feels regretful of their decision. So if you broke up due to external factors and your ex vocalized their regret, it could be a sign they will come back.

34. Your ex is second-guessing the breakup. We all second-guess our breakups. So it’s normal if your ex does it from time to time, and it doesn’t mean anything if they do it once or twice. But if they keep second-guessing to the point where it becomes a borderline obsession, it’s a sign they will eventually come back.

35. Your breakup was never official. If your ex never told anyone that they broke up with you, it could indicate that they will come back. But then again, they may be just shy about telling others that they broke up with you. This is usually the case with younger couples. 20 to 30-year-olds, to be exact.

36. You have an on/off relationship with your ex. An on/off relationship is a toxic relationship where two people continually keep breaking up and getting back together. It’s the dance between the anxiously attached and the avoidantly attached. And while having such a relationship is a sign your ex will eventually come back, you should really consider breaking up for good. It’s just not a healthy dynamic to be involved in.

37. You broke up with your ex in the heat of the moment. Sometimes emotions make us say and do things we didn’t really want to say and do. One of which is ending our relationship or calling our ex some degenerate slur so they end it. If that’s the case with your breakup, maybe you still have a chance to turn the whole thing around. Hence, regard it as a sign that your ex will come back.

38. Your ex talks about a future with you. For example, they bring up marriage and kids or subtler topics like going on a trip or a concert together at some point.

39. Your ex shows a lot of affection when you meet up or when you’re away. For example, when you meet up, they stand and sit close to you, bump their knee into yours, touch your arm (or jump into them), grab your hand, kiss you, or are all over you. And when you’re away, they buy you gifts, write you notes or poems, sprinkle many affectionate emojis throughout their texts, or compliment you.

40. Your ex is blatant about the fact that they still love you and want to get back together. For example, they want to make you happy, seek your approval, tell you how much they love and miss you, ask you to meet up, and, of course, to get back together.

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Why you shouldn’t obsess over the signs your ex will eventually come back

Lots of the signs your ex will eventually come back aren’t signs at all. And obsessing about them will only lead you to become a walking, self-deluding, self-sabotaging stress ball. Here are three main consequences of this sort of obsession.

1. Misinterpretation

Below are four signs indicating your ex will eventually come back that keep popping up across many authority breakup-advice sites. These are the sort of signs I would deem inaccurate at best, and dangerous at worst.

1. Your ex will come back if they express happiness about your achievement/growth. Meaning they congratulate, compliment, and tell you how much you’ve changed for the better. Okay fuckface, what 5$-a-page-Fiverr-writer came up with this shit? Countless people (including myself) have no problem expressing happiness towards their exes, even when they don’t want them back.

2. Your ex will come back if they’re nostalgic. Again, what the fuck? Who wrote this? People get nostalgic about their exes all the time, even when they don’t want them back. The same can be said about any area of one’s life. I get nostalgic for my one-night stands, my shallow parting buddies, or for waking up in the middle of the street, shitfaced. But even though I’m nostalgic about those experiences — sometimes even teary-eyed — I would never go back.

3. Your ex will come back if you had a good relationship and a lot of chemistry with them. Sometimes I wonder if breakup advice is written for 12-year-olds. Saying that a good relationship (without ever defining what “good” even means) and high chemistry with an ex equates to a sign that they’ll come back is absurd. It just doesn’t make sense.

4. Your ex will come back if you both understand what lead to the breakup. This one never made sense to me. I know for a fact everything I’ve done wrong in my previous relationships, including what my exes done wrong, and I still wouldn’t go back to any of them. And it’s not just me, it’s my friends, family and clients. You or your ex knowing what went wrong in a relationship is by no means a sign that they will come back.

2. Stress and self-sabotage

There’s a general consensus in psychology: the more you obsess about something, the more stressed and frustrated you’ll feel.  And the more stressed and frustrated you feel, the higher the chances of performing irrational, needy, and self-destructive behaviors get.

In your case, these behaviors include: spamming your ex’s phone, showing up at their place unannounced, sending them cheesy love letters, overanalyzing their every response, attempting to “game them“, or stalking them on social media, and accidentally liking a post from 2015.

Oops.

Sometimes obsessing over the signs your ex will eventually come back can even lead to rumination. Rumination is a tendency that causes a person to spend an inordinate amount of time worrying, figuring out, trying to understand, analysing or clarifying thought or theme. It’s also one of the core characteristics of OCD (Obsessive Impulsive Disorder). (1)

If you simply can’t get your ex out of your mind, consider getting into therapy. Preferably, cognitive behaviour therapy, which is aimed at helping people suffering from rumination.

3. Warped expectations

When I was a kid, I was terrified of air travel. I feared that it was only a matter of time before the plane’s engine malfunctions and made the whole bird crash. So whenever I got onto a plane, all I could think about were things blowing up in my ugly 10-year-old face.

And the more I focused on the explosion and fire and smoke and the screaming people that swooshed out of an airborne plane like confetti, the more my fear expanded, blinding me from reality. Suddenly, things like turbulence, flickering lights, and tired expressions of crew members quickly became signs of impending doom.

The mental vomit I’ve gone through in my childhood is the same mental vomit you’ll go through if you keep obsessing over the signs your ex will eventually come back. A few examples:

Example 1: your ex asks you for their stuff back. So you might jump to the conclusion that they will come back, and start acting desperate and like you’re already together again. In reality, your ex just wanted their damn stuff back.

Example 2: your ex laughed at your joke two times in a row and brushed shoulders with you. So you jump to the conclusion that they still love you and will come back. In reality, you just know a lot of hilarious jokes, and the shoulder rub was unintentional.

Example 3: your ex likes your new Facebook profile picture. So you immediately conclude they still love you and shoot them a sappy text message about getting back together. In reality, your ex doesn’t love you; they only liked your new photo because of a random emotional high that went away as quickly as it manifested.

A Better Way To Determine If Your Ex Will Come Back

Do you think it’s possible to rebuild yourself and turn your entire life around if you’re using most of your mental capacity and waking energy to focus on your ex and the signs they’ll eventually come back?

Probably not.

If you really want to improve the chances of getting your ex back, stop obsessing about them. Omit the signs. Fuck the odds. Just find something more important than getting your ex back. Focus on yourself, dammit.

I know this is difficult, but it’s worth it. Consider the upsides of the whole thing:

Counterintuitively, it’s the silence of focusing and investing in yourself that will spark your ex’s attraction, and make them come back. And it’s the identity-level change you make in yourself (and the identity-level change they make in themselves) that will keep the two of you together.

So stop fussing over signs your ex will eventually come back before you burst a blood vessel.

If they want you back, they will let you know. They will message you, call you, or in some way, shape, or form, communicate that they want to try again. Be that in the form of a committed relationship, friends with benefits relationship, or casual dating.

If that happens, just be honest with them and tell them you want them back as well. From there on out, invite them on a date and work on mending your relationship. While this is difficult — for it demands mutual personal growth, introspection (what went wrong and how do we fix it?), emotional work, patience, and (usually) therapy — it is possible.

Even in the worst-case scenario — if your ex never contacts you again or rejects your reconnection attempts — it’s still a win. For your ex not coming back creates a space in your life for an even better person to take their place. And, although you might not believe it right now, there’s always a better person to take their place. Always.

If you need more help getting your ex back, check out my Radical Re-Attraction Course. With over 8h of video, 300 pages of writing, and personalized 1-on-1 coaching, I'll walk you through every step of the re-attraction process from start to finish.

Learn How To Permanently Reunite With Your Ex Without Tricks And Games Or Looking Desperate

Get a free cheat sheet with quick information about every step of getting an ex back: how to reach out, become irresistibly attractive, handle no contact and dating, transition into and maintain a healthy relationship, and more.

Keep Reading

Learn How To Permanently Reunite With Your Ex Without Tricks And Games Or Looking Desperate

Get a free cheat sheet with quick information about every step of getting an ex back: how to reach out, become irresistibly attractive, handle no contact and dating, transition into and maintain a healthy relationship, and more.


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