Click play to listen to this article.
The Law Of Fuck Yes Or No began as a simple article from the blogger Derek Sivers. Eventually, it got so popular he turned it into a book on business and entrepreneurship. Then another blogger, Mark Manson, put his spin on the concept and showed how one could apply Fuck Yes Or No to dating. Since then, many bloggers have written their own take on the concept. And today, I join the herd — my take is using The Law Of Fuck Yes Or No in the context of getting an ex back. Enjoy.
***
My variation of Fuck Yes or No states that when you’re trying to mend your relationship if your ex is in any capacity unable, unwilling, or unenthusiastic to help you do it, and if you’re in any capacity unable, unwilling, or unenthusiastic to help them do it, it’s a “No,” for mending it.
Why? Because attractive, non-needy, high self-worth people don’t have time for exes who they are not able, willing, and excited to be with and who are not able, willing, and excited to be with them.
Here are some examples of the Law Of Fuck Yes or No.
Example #1. If you’re not 100% sure your ex is compatible and free of toxic tendencies, it’s a “No” for mending your relationship. For nothing good will come out of one where two people have conflicting values, beliefs, or goals or where there’s a chance it will be cultivated on a tarnished and contaminated basis.
Example #2. If your ex is flirting with you, yet they constantly make up excuses when you invite them on a date and give mixed signals, it’s a “No” for getting them back. For they are clearly not a “Fuck Yes” about putting sufficient effort into getting you back.
Example #3. If your ex keeps ignoring or ghosting your texts and calls for whatever reason or serving cold responses, it’s a “No” for rekindling things. Because their actions are quite evident of the fact that they don’t want to hear from you.
Example #4. If your ex is stringing you along, letting you do and pay for everything, and rarely rewards you with anything more than a breadcrumb of affection, it’s a “No” for holding on. For your ex’s behavior isn’t a reflection of someone eager to be with you for you.
Example #5. If you believe your ex is the love of your life, that you’ll never meet anyone better, or that you’re unworthy of anyone better, it’s a “No” for re-attracting them. For with that attitude, you run the risk of marginalizing yourself in the pursuit of pleasing your ex and end up destroying yourself emotionally.
Sometimes The Law Of Fuck Yes or No will apply differently depending on where you are with your ex. For example, if you’re sure they’re incompatible or toxic, you may only be a “Fuck Yes” for fucking their brains out once or twice. Nothing wrong with that. Or you could be a “Fuck Yes” for giving them just one more chance and meeting up, despite the awkward date from last time.
As you can see, The Law Of Fuck Yes or No entails many benefits.
- It shields you from cultivating or continuing to cultivate relationships that wouldn’t and shouldn’t work out. Toxic relationships, relationships between two radically different people, relationships where you’ll be strung along, used, or abused.
- It rescues you from the unnecessary emotional turbulence and guessing games that come with trying to mend a relationship. No more unnecessary frustration, confusion, anger, drama, and overthinking about where you stand with your ex and how they feel toward you.
- It breaks down and removes the artificial complexity around getting an ex back and accentuates its inherent simplicity. The same simplicity so many people in this industry try to hide from you because getting your money is easier when you’re told that getting an ex back is complex and that you need some “proven system” or whatever to pull it off.
- It removes the overly analytical and “gamey” bullshit encouraged in conventional ex-back advice. Pre-prepared texts, waiting X amount of days before responding, playing hard to get, sending a handwritten letter, making them jealous by posting fun shit on social media, using reverse psychology, leaving your shirt at their place, so you have an excuse to come back for it later, etc.
- It propels you to be more honest with yourself and your ex. This is awesome because re-attracting your ex through honesty is much sexier than trying to convince or con them into giving you another shot — which, again, most conventional ex-back advice encourages.
But the true beauty of Fuck Yes or No — and why so many takes on the concept float around the Internet — is that it’s a filter you can use to decide what’s worth doing and what’s a waste of time in all areas of life: romantic relationships, health, fitness, spirituality, career, school, friendships, family, you name it!
The Law Of Fuck Yes or No is, in general, a decision to stop deciding. It’s saying yes to one thing and no to absolutely everything else. It’s the ultimate personal boundary. And your willingness to assert it not only reflects your current level of self-respect and esteem but also bolsters self-respect and esteem. And that’s as sexy as it is useful and needed in this day and age.
This cheat sheet lays out a simple yet potent approach to mending a relationship — one rooted in raw authenticity that respects both your dignity and that of your ex.
Get The Free Cheat Sheet
From The Inside Out
Re-Attraction Course
