As part of my newsletter, The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.
Here’s this week’s edition. Enjoy.
Today’s Idea:
Have you ever wondered why you sometimes feel so insecure in your romantic relationships? The answer might lie in attachment theory.
This theory suggests that the way we relate to others is influenced by our earliest relationships with our caregivers. These early experiences then shape our attachment style, which can be secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized.
If you have an anxious attachment style, for example, you might find yourself craving closeness but fearing abandonment, leading to insecurity. On the other hand, if you have an avoidant attachment style, you might struggle to open up and maintain emotional distance, often pushing others away when they get too close. So your insecurity is getting intimate.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward changing them for the better. And the good news is that attachment styles are not set in stone. By becoming aware of your unhealthy patterns and working towards a more secure attachment, you can break free from insecurity and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Today’s Suggestion:
Take a moment to reflect on your ex-relationship and identify patterns that align with your attachment style. Were you consistently anxious or worried about your ex leaving you? Do you find it difficult to open up and trust them, leaning towards avoidant behavior?
Once you identify your attachment style, take active steps to work on it. This could mean setting boundaries to protect your well-being, communicating openly with those you fancy, or seeking therapy to address deeper issues. The goal is to move towards a secure attachment style, where you feel more confident in both yourself and your relationships.
Today’s Resource:
Attachment Theory Explained — a one-stop-shop guide to attachment styles. Learn how you develop them, how each influences your relationships, your mindset, even your response to a breakup, and how to go from an insecure attachment to a secure one.
As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. While I can’t respond to everyone, I do read everything.
Until next time,
Max Jancar
Every Monday I send out an email with one idea, suggestion, and resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love. Enter your email to join the newsletter.