As part of The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.
Here’s this week’s edition.
Today’s Idea:
Most people shouldn’t try to get back with their ex. That’s because an average person seldom mends things and usually only prolongs their healing through trying.
The only people qualified for the feat are those who a) are unattached to whether or not they get back with their ex, b) are content and happy with themselves, even when single, and c) know that if they do mend their relationship, it would be a healthy one.
Today’s Suggestion:
Take a moment to brainstorm why you would want your ex back. Are you afraid of being single? Are you devastated and lonely without them? Do you think you’re inadequate to find or will never find anyone better?
If you keep answering “Yes” to these sorts of questions, it might be time to simply move on. However, if you keep answering “No” — plus, you’re happy with yourself and unattached to reconciliation — continue answering three more questions.
Are you and your ex at least 70% aligned in your values, goals, beliefs, and worldviews? Do you know why you broke up and are prepared to work on those flaws? Are you and your ex devoid of any major toxic tendencies that might cause havoc in your relationship?
If you answered “Yes” to these questions, you are qualified for reconciliation. But if you answered any of them with a “No,” consider moving on.
Note: don’t take the above as gospel. This was just an activity aimed to give you a better idea of whether reconciliation is something you should pursue or not. It’s about getting rough estimates, not ironclad answers, about what to do.
Today’s Resource:
The Law Of Fuck Yes Or No — one of the best mental models to adopt when trying to figure out if you should give your ex another chance. The idea is that if something isn’t a 100% FUCK yes, it’s a FUCK no. Fun stuff!
New This Week:
New articles:
New videos:
- 30 Glaring Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back (most popular this week).
- Time Is Key When Getting Your Ex Back.
- The Backwards Law: How To Feel Better By Letting Go.
- How To Get Your Ex Back And Actually Keep Them.
As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. While I can’t respond to everyone, I do read everything.
Until next time,
Max Jancar
Get a weekly email with one idea, suggestion, and resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love (with your ex or someone new).