As part of my newsletter, The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.
Here’s this week’s edition. Enjoy.
Today’s Idea:
Your ex might not come back unless you stop focusing on getting them back. Sounds counterintuitive, I know. But here’s the deal: the more you obsess over reconciliation, the less attractive you become. This is because the desperation married to obsession is annoying. And it almost always makes you do stuff that pushes your ex further away.
Instead, a far more powerful thing you can do re-attraction-wise is release your attachment to the outcome. How? By focusing on something bigger than your ex — something that gives your life meaning beyond the dead relationship. When you have a purpose that’s independent of them, not only do you start healing faster, but you also become more attractive.
And here’s the kicker: when you’re no longer desperate for your ex to come back, you’re in a much better position to form and maintain a healthy relationship if they ever do give you another shot.
Today’s Suggestion:
Ask yourself, “What do I care about more than getting my ex back?” Maybe it’s your career, personal growth, fitness, creativity, or even friendships.
Once you figure out what that is, double down on it. Pour your energy into that thing and watch how your peace of mind and confidence — and with it, attractiveness — grows.
The last thing I’ll say is that this isn’t about erasing your ex from your mind — it’s about becoming the kind of person who’s fulfilled with or without them. That’s what you should aim for.
Today’s Resource:
Change Your Mind About Getting Your Ex Back — this article breaks down how detaching from the idea of reconciliation can ironically help you achieve it, while also improving the rest of your life in the process.
As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. While I can’t respond to everyone, I do read everything.
Until next time,
Max Jancar
Every Monday I send out an email with one idea, suggestion, and resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love. Enter your email to join the newsletter.