Don't Seek Closure From Your Ex, Do This Instead
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Don’t Seek Closure From Your Ex, Do This Instead

By Max Jancar | Published: March 18, 2024 | 2 Minute Read

As part of The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.

Here’s this week’s edition.


Today’s Idea:

Closure is achieved not externally but internally, by reevaluating your own feelings and thoughts about your dead relationship. So don’t bug your ex to explain why things didn’t work out or what you could’ve done differently.

Contrary to what most people believe, it won’t bring any peace. It’ll only chip away at your self-esteem and self-reliance. Not to mention, you’ll just annoy your ex and potentially cause needless arguments and drama.

Today’s Suggestion:

The next time you’re flirting with the idea of bugging your ex for closure, get away from your phone or any other means of communicating with them and reflect on your relationship internally.

Then, based on that reflection, write down how you feel about it, where you think things have gone wrong/right, and what you could’ve done differently. See how that feels.

Ideally, by the end of the activity, your urges to bug your ex should lose some of their hold. Likewise, you should feel a sense of peace as you inch closer to real closure. Because this is how you’ll actually reach it.

Today’s Resource:

How To Grow From Your Breakup Pain — a handful of practical solutions for developing resilience, self-trust, and emotional maturity to achieve peace and closure more smoothly.

New This Week:

New article — about how to respond to your ex if they unblocked you on Instagram (or just about any other social media platform) and why they’ve done it. Read it here.

Updated article — this one is about ten reasons you shouldn’t text your ex and a few cases where that might not be the worst idea. Read it here.

New YouTube video — on 12 simple attraction-building habits that will help you get back with your ex. Check it out here.


As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. While I can’t respond to everyone, I do read everything.

Until next time,

Max Jancar

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