Care About Many Things (Not Just Your Ex) - Max Jancar
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Care About Many Things (Not Just Your Ex)

As part of The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.

Here’s this week’s edition, sent on January 22, 2024.


Today’s Idea:

Never make your ex the main source of your happiness and meaning. Diversify your sources of happiness and meaning instead.

Because if you mainly derive happiness and meaning from one thing, once that one thing fails or is taken away, you will end up in an existential crisis and feel like your life is meaningless.

However, if you can derive happiness and meaning from multiple sources, losing some of them won’t spiritually slaughter you. Because after losing some of the sources, you will always be able to fall back on the other ones.

Today’s Suggestion:

Apart from your ex, make a list of every other life-related area that brings you some form of happiness and meaning — everything else that you basically give a shit about. Business, education, friendships, hobbies, music, politics, the environment, whatever.

Then pick three of the areas you put down and invest in them. And I really mean invest yourself in them. If you like music, start attending concerts or learn an instrument. If you like technology, go beyond being a passive user and learn how hardware works or how to code. If you like travel, don’t just go on vacations, but start learning about the cultures you visit — maybe even the basics of their languages. You get the point.

The sooner you diversify your identity a bit and start to care more about things unrelated to your ex, the faster you’ll heal from the breakup and become more attractive. From which point you’ll have an easier time either getting your ex back or attracting someone new.

Today’s Resource:

Change Your Mind About Getting Your Ex Back — an article illustrating how caring about something other than your ex looks like and how it paradoxically helps you get back with them.

New This Week:

Exciting upcoming podcast episode — about a day ago, I interviewed my favorite breakup coach and content creator, Rory from The Love Chat. The episode comes out sometime next week. I’ll share it in the next issue of The Breakthrough Letter. Can’t wait!

Article improvement — an updated and expanded version of my article about how to miss an ex less. Click here to read it.


As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. While I can’t respond to everyone, I do read everything.

Until next time,

Max Jancar

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