5 Stages Of A Rebound Relationship (And 3 Truth Bombs)

Click play to listen to this article.

A rebound relationship is a relationship we enter right after or soon after our breakup to suppress or escape our pain and feel less lonely or to make our ex jealous, get revenge, and prove to them how much better off we are without them.

For these reasons, it’s not hard to assume that rebound relationships are shallow, short-lasting, and utterly dysfunctional. But despite that being the prevailing societal notion, it’s not always true. Well, except for the “short-lasting” bit… About 90% of rebounds don’t last.

But what is true (somewhat) is that there are stages to rebound relationships. These stages are identical for both the dumpees and dumpers. And understanding them helps you become more aware of where things can go wrong in your new relationship, enabling you to better prepare for certain challenges ahead of time. (1)

Or if you’re someone who wants to get back with their ex, it helps you figure out what they’re going through (or could go through) in their new rebound relationship, which makes you able to better predict whether or not you have a chance at getting them back.

The Stages Of A Rebound Relationship

Below, I’ll go over the stages of a rebound relationship, examine their anatomy, and point out what behaviors and quirks a person can expect in each. And while these stages can take on a few different forms, they’ll likely resemble the following outline.

1. The Pre-Rebound Stage

The first stage of rebound relationships begins when a person gets pushed into vast freedom by the absence of their ex. As a result of this freedom, they usually start dating.

Now, some people start dating out of excitement. Others out of anxiety, neediness, and the fear of missing out on new experiences. The former leads to a real relationship and the latter to a rebound relationship.

The dumpee and dumper also have somewhat different reactions during this stage. The dumpee will have a more challenging time coping with their breakup, and they’ll, on average, grieve longer and more intensely. Whereas the dumper will stop grieving faster, and the overall process will be far less intense than that of the dumpees. There’s even a chance that they’ll feel relieved and elated now that their relationship is over.

2. The Honeymoon Stage

After a person dates for a while, they usually settle down with someone. When that happens, they reach stage two of a rebound relationship — considering that their new relationship is, in fact, a rebound — called The Honeymoon Stage.

The Honeymoon Stage lasts anywhere from 6 months to one year, and during it, a person is unable to get enough of their new partner. They’ll crave talking, cuddling, kissing, and fucking all the time. They’ll overlook their flaws and exaggerate their strengths. They’ll constantly feel euphoric, hyped up, and passionate.

Sometimes this person will become so obsessed with their partner that they’ll start losing sleep and appetite and find themselves with an ungodly amount of intrusive thoughts about them. These tendencies can quickly become toxic and lead to codependency, jealousy issues, impaired sexual performance, and thinking of the new partner as a “soulmate.”

Thus, a relationship can quickly go downhill during The Honeymoon Stage. Disagreements and arguments can bubble up. Resentment may flow in. And a person suddenly ends up in the next stage of a rebound relationship — reality and conflicts.

3. The Reality And Conflicts Stage

This stage of a rebound relationship is pivotal. During it, a person experiences some much-needed dose of reality. They’ll consider if their new relationship is suitable for them. They’ll begin to discern their partner’s flaws and imperfections and start making rational judgments about whether or not those flaws and imperfections are something they can live with.

As the name implies, this stage often leads to conflict. And this conflict usually plays out in two ways: a couple resolves and accepts it, or they amplify it.

If they resolve and accept it, they also need to stomach that the same type of conflict will probably keep repeating and will keep needing to be resolved and accepted as long as the relationship lasts. Such is the nature of romantic relationships.

But if a couple fails to express their concerns and put up sufficient boundaries, the conflicts amplify. And as a result, they risk launching themselves into the fourth stage of a rebound relationship.

4. The Nostalgia And Comparison Stage

This stage marks the point where a person will start comparing their new partner with their ex. A hallmark of it are thoughts like:

• “OHMYGOD, my ex was also a loud chewer.”
• “My ex was never so ill-tempered. Maybe I’m with the wrong person…?”
• “He walks and talks like my ex. I don’t like that.”
• “She has the same body shape as my ex. I love that!”
• “My ex would react in the same way in this scenario.”

While there’s nothing unhealthy with comparing a new partner to an ex, and while everyone does it from time to time, it is unhealthy for a person to keep doing it until they begin to reminisce about their old relationship and obsessively miss their ex.

If that happens, the intrusive thoughts that keep swirling around a person’s mind often get infused with growing resentment toward their current partner. These people start to think, “Why can’t you be more/less like my ex!” This is undoubtedly a bad sign for a relationship.

Another trait of The Nostalgia And Comparison Stage is that the more disagreements a couple has, the more they’ll contemplate breaking up. And the more a person contemplates breaking up, the more likely it is that they’ll progress into the last stage of a rebound relationship.

5. The Epiphany Stage

This stage plays out in two radically different ways.

A person either concludes that their relationship is toxic, that they’ve committed to a partner for all the wrong reasons, and that they’ve settled, or they conclude that their relationship is healthy and has the potential of becoming something deeper.

Depending on the conclusion, a person either decides to break up, or to stay and double down on building an actual relationship. At this point, two interesting things occur.

A couple’s love becomes unconditional — they don’t need each other to be or act a certain way in order for love to flow freely. And they begin to form an emotional bond capable of keeping them together despite thankless circumstances: logistics, war, illness, etc. In other words, it’s at this stage that a rebound can potentially turn into a real relationship.

Free Cheat Sheet: A Roadmap To Re-Attracting An Ex Through Honesty

This cheat sheet lays out a simple yet potent approach to mending a relationship — one rooted in raw authenticity that respects both your dignity and that of your ex.

Get The Free Cheat Sheet

What Everyone Gets Wrong About The Stages Of A Rebound Relationship

There are three things many people assume about the stages of a rebound relationship:

• That they’re different than the stages of a non-rebound.
• That one progresses from a former stage to the latter without deviations.
• That each stage can be measured in terms of how long it lasts.

Not only are these beliefs untrue, but they only complicate what is essentially a very simple matter. Here’s the truth behind each of these false assumptions.

1. The stages of a rebound relationship are not much different than those of a non-rebound

For context: Rebound relationships go through 5 stages: Pre-Rebound, Honeymoon, Conflicts And Reality, Nostalgia And Comparison, and The Epiphany. And non-rebound relationships go through three: Lust, Attraction/Obsessive Love, and Attachment.

At a glance, one could easily argue the stages of a rebound and those of a non-rebound aren’t alike. But when you observe the chemicals our brains releases in each stage and the behaviors we display because of those releases, you’d quickly see the similarities. (2) (3)

The only time things get a bit messy is during the third and fourth stages of a rebound, which mark the transitional period between the middle and final stages in the context of non-rebounds. Yet, there are theories out there that make sense of even these sorts of anomalies. (4)

2. The Stages Of A Rebound Relationship Aren’t Linear

Like with breakup stages, those of a rebound don’t unfold linearly. You don’t suddenly go from, say, The Honeymoon Stage to The Conflicts And Reality Stage. You shift between the two for weeks or even months until you eventually settle down in one.

You can also randomly revert to any previous stage. For example, in only a matter of days or weeks, you can go from The Epiphany to the Comparison Stage and then back to Epiphany.

You can even be in two stages of a rebound at once or adopt elements from two or more of them. For instance, you could be in The Honeymoon Stage but still weirdly have countless arguments with your partner, which are the hallmarks of The Conflicts And Reality Stage.

3. The Stages Of A Rebound Relationship Don’t Have A Time Period

I know everyone is obsessed with tracking how long each stage of a rebound relationship lasts, especially the people who want their ex back, but can you just shut the fuck up for a second?

It’s different for everyone.

Some people could stay stuck in a certain stage for weeks. Some for months. Others for years. Nobody has the timelines for these stages figured out, so don’t obsess about it. It’s just not worth it.

Don’t Take The Stages Of A Rebound Relationship Too Seriously

If you’re suddenly bickering with your new partner, it doesn’t mean that you’re in a later stage of a rebound and that your relationship won’t work out. The whole thing could mean absolutely nothing. It may just be a temporary obstacle that will resolve itself in time.

And if you’re someone who wants their ex back but are worried that that’s going to be impossible because they’re in a particular stage with their new rebound partner, and things are supposedly going great, know that it may not be as big of a deal as you think. Your ex may still come back eventually.

What I’m ultimately saying is, relax.

Like with the stages of getting an ex back or breakup stages, there’s not much science behind these sorts of theories. So don’t look into it too much. You don’t have to, nor will it change anything.

Whatever worries are stressing you out now will inevitably cease to exist once you stretch your life’s timeline far enough. Until then, focus on things you can actually control.

What To Do If You’re Dating Someone On The Rebound

Figured out your new partner is rebounding? That sucks. Here’s how to handle it.

Recognize The Signs Early

If you’re dating someone who:

• Just got out of a serious relationship (within the last few months)
• Constantly talks about their ex
• Is rushing physical intimacy but avoiding emotional depth
• Seems emotionally unavailable or distant
• Is comparing you to their ex (favorably or unfavorably)
• Hasn’t introduced you to friends/family despite months of dating
• Is love-bombing you with grand gestures but no real substance

…you’re probably dating someone on the rebound.

Have The Uncomfortable Conversation

Don’t just suffer in silence hoping things will magically get better. Address it directly:

“I’ve noticed you mention your ex a lot. Are you sure you’re ready to be in a new relationship? Because I’m looking for something real, and I need to know if you’re in the same place emotionally.”

Their response will tell you everything. If they get defensive, minimize your concerns, or can’t give you a straight answer — that’s your answer.

Decide If You’re Willing To Wait It Out

Some people think they can “win over” someone who’s rebounding. That if they’re just patient and understanding enough, their partner will eventually be ready for a real relationship.

Sometimes that works. Most of the time it doesn’t.

You need to be honest with yourself: Are you okay being someone’s emotional placeholder while they figure their shit out? Are you comfortable knowing they might wake up one day and realize they’re not actually into you?

If the answer is no, walk away now. Don’t torture yourself hoping they’ll change.

Set A Timeline And Boundaries

If you decide to give it a shot, set clear boundaries:

• “I need you to stop talking about your ex constantly. It’s disrespectful to me and to this relationship.”
• “I need to see progress. If in X months things haven’t deepened, I’m out.”
• “I need you to be working on yourself — therapy, journaling, whatever. I can’t do the healing work for you.”

And actually stick to your timeline. Don’t keep extending it because you’re attached. That’s how people waste years on someone who was never going to commit.

Or Just Walk Away

Honestly? Walking away is usually the right call. You deserve someone who’s fully available and actually ready for a relationship, not someone using you as a band-aid for their broken heart.

There are plenty of people out there who are emotionally available and won’t treat you like a placeholder. Go find one of them instead of trying to fix someone who isn’t ready.

The Hard Truth

Most rebound relationships don’t turn into real relationships. And even when they do, they often start from such a fucked-up foundation that they end up failing anyway.

You’re not being impatient or demanding by wanting someone who’s actually ready for you. You’re being smart. Don’t settle for being someone’s rebound just because you’re afraid of being alone.

So You’re In A Rebound — Now What?

Let’s say you’ve read this article and realized, “Oh fuck, I’m definitely in a rebound relationship.” What now? Here’s your action plan.

Step 1: Get Brutally Honest With Yourself

Why are you really in this relationship? Are you genuinely interested in this person, or are you using them as a distraction? Are you trying to prove something to your ex? Avoiding pain? Filling a void?

You need to figure out your actual motivations. Not the bullshit story you’re telling yourself, but the real reasons. Journal about it. Talk to a brutally honest friend. Go to therapy. Whatever it takes to get clear on why you’re here.

Step 2: Decide If You Want To Make It Real

Some rebounds do turn into real relationships. It’s rare, but it happens. So you need to decide: do you actually want to try with this person, or are you just killing time until something better comes along?

If you want to make it real, you’ll need to:

• Stop comparing your new partner to your ex
• Actually process your past relationship (therapy, journaling, time)
• Be honest with your partner about where you’re at emotionally
• Give the relationship time to develop naturally instead of rushing milestones
• Stop using the relationship as an escape mechanism

That’s a lot of work. Most people aren’t willing to do it, which is why most rebounds fail.

Step 3: Or Just End It

If you’re honest with yourself and realize you’re not genuinely interested in this person — that you’re just using them as emotional scaffolding while you heal — the decent thing to do is end it.

Yes, it’s uncomfortable. Yes, you’ll feel guilty. But stringing someone along while you figure your shit out is worse. Rip the band-aid off.

Say something like: “I need to be honest with you. I got into this relationship before I was ready, and I’m realizing I’m not in a place to give you what you deserve. I’m sorry. I need to step back and work on myself.”

Then actually work on yourself. Don’t just jump into another rebound.

Step 4: Take Time To Actually Heal

Whether you try to make the rebound work or you end it, you need to actually process your last breakup. That means:

• Spending time alone without immediately filling the void with another person
• Understanding what went wrong in your past relationship
• Identifying your patterns and what you need to work on
• Building a life that doesn’t revolve around having a partner
• Learning to be okay with being single

Most people skip this step. They go from rebound to rebound to rebound, never actually healing, just accumulating more emotional baggage. Don’t be that person.

Step 5: Be Honest With Your Partner (If You’re Staying)

If you decide to try making your rebound into a real relationship, you need to have an honest conversation with your partner about where you’re at.

Something like: “I need to be real with you. I got into this relationship pretty quickly after my last one ended, and I’m realizing I brought some unresolved stuff with me. I’m working on it, and I want to make this work, but I need you to know I’m still processing some things.”

They deserve to know what they’re dealing with. And you deserve a partner who’s okay with where you’re at, not someone you have to lie to.

FAQ: Everything Else You’re Wondering About Rebound Relationships

What Happens When A Rebound Relationship Ends?

If you have experienced the end of a rebound relationship, whether as the one rebounding or dating someone on the rebound, it’s pretty common to feel like an idiot for giving it a shot and actually believing in it. That is, apart from the other consequences of breaking up like loneliness, frustration, or feeling used.

Yet, please don’t let these things discourage you. Love is inherently dangerous. You can never experience it fully without putting yourself on the line and risking heartbreak. And there is no going around it.

What Are The Signs Of A Rebound Relationship?

Here are the most common ones:

• The relationship begins soon after the end of the last one.
• The person in the relationship is dating someone who is the polar opposite of you.
• The person in the relationship begins to flaunt their new partner.
• The relationship initially becomes intense and passionate, but it fizzles out.
• The relationship is characterized by a lack of commitment and emotional investment.
• The person in the relationship is not fully over their ex.
• The person in the relationship is rushing things and tackling major milestones like moving in together or having kids faster than usual.

Of course, don’t take these signs too seriously. Sometimes, a relationship that bears no resemblance to a rebound is in fact a rebound. And other times, a relationship giving all the right rebound signals is in fact not a rebound.

Do Rebound Relationships Ever Work Out?

Although a rebound relationship often forms prematurely and with the wrong intentions, it has the potential to turn into a real relationship. But don’t dwell on this question too fiercely.

As I’ve argued in another article, getting into a rebound relationship is often worth it regardless of how it unfolds. Because whether it fails or turns into a real relationship, it will serve as a valuable experience and lead you to cultivate a deeper understanding of how love works.

I know it’s unnerving reading this if you’re someone who wants to get their ex back, but it’s the truth. A rebound will help your ex move on faster. And whether or not it works out is beyond your control. So let the chips fall where they may. Let it go.

How Long Do Rebound Relationships Last?

According to research, most rebounds last between 4 months to one year. About 90% don’t work out long-term. But that’s just an average. Some last weeks, others last years. Some even turn into marriages.

Stop obsessing over timelines. Your ex’s rebound lasting 2 months or 2 years doesn’t change what you need to do: focus on your own healing and life.

Can A Rebound Turn Into Real Love?

Yes, but it’s rare. For a rebound to turn into real love, both people need to be willing to do a lot of uncomfortable work: processing past relationships, being radically honest, building emotional depth, and not rushing things.

Most people in rebounds aren’t willing to do that work. That’s why most rebounds fail.

Should I Wait For My Ex’s Rebound To End?

Fuck no. Live your life. Date other people. Move on. Waiting around for their rebound to fail is pathetic and puts your life on hold for someone who chose someone else over you.

My Ex’s Rebound Is Lasting Longer Than Expected — Does That Mean It’s Real?

Not necessarily. Some rebounds last a long time before imploding. But at a certain point (usually around 5-6 months), you need to accept that it might not be a rebound anymore.

Either way, it doesn’t matter. Whether it’s real or fake doesn’t change the fact that they’re with someone else and you need to move on.

What If I’m The Rebound But I’m Developing Real Feelings?

That’s tough. You need to have an honest conversation with the person you’re dating about where they’re at emotionally. If they can’t give you a clear answer or they’re still clearly hung up on their ex, you need to protect yourself and walk away.

Don’t wait around hoping they’ll suddenly realize you’re the one. That’s a recipe for heartbreak.

Is It Different If My Ex Rebounded With Someone They Already Knew?

Kind of. If your ex immediately started dating a coworker, friend, or someone they already had a connection with, there’s a chance it’s not a pure rebound — they might have been developing feelings while still with you.

That’s actually worse than a rebound. It’s monkey-branching or emotional cheating that became a relationship. You definitely don’t want them back.

Should I Tell My Ex They’re In A Rebound?

Absolutely not. You’ll look bitter, jealous, and desperate. Even if you’re right, pointing it out won’t make them dump their new partner and run back to you. It’ll just confirm you’re not over them.

What If My Ex’s Rebound Gets Serious (Engagement, Moving In, Etc.)?

Then it’s not a rebound anymore, or they’re making really bad decisions to try to prove it’s real. Either way, you need to accept that they’ve moved on and focus on your own life.

Can I Get My Ex Back After Their Rebound Ends?

Maybe. If their rebound fails and they reach out, you can decide then if you even want them back. But don’t count on it. Most people who end rebounds move on to someone new, not back to their ex.

How Do I Know If I’m Ready To Date Or If I’ll Just Rebound?

Ask yourself: Am I genuinely excited about meeting new people, or am I just trying to avoid pain? Can I be alone without feeling incomplete? Have I processed my last relationship?

If you’re dating primarily to fill a void or prove something to your ex, you’re not ready. Take more time to heal first.

Is A Rebound Worse For The Dumper Or The Dumpee?

Doesn’t matter. Both can rebound. Both can get hurt. Stop trying to predict who’s suffering more and focus on your own healing.

What If I Rebounded But Now I Miss My Ex?

You need to figure out if you actually miss your ex or if you’re just nostalgic because your rebound isn’t working out. Are you comparing unfavorably? Do you genuinely want your ex back, or are you just romanticizing the past?

If you genuinely want them back, you need to end your rebound first. Don’t string someone along while pining for your ex.

My Ex Is Rebounding With Someone Way Less Attractive — What Does That Mean?

It means you’re shallow as fuck for even thinking that way. Attraction isn’t objective. Maybe your ex values things other than looks. Maybe you’re overestimating your own attractiveness. Either way, it’s not your business.

My Ex Is Rebounding With Someone Way More Attractive — Should I Give Up?

Looks aren’t everything. Hot people get dumped too. Their new partner being hot doesn’t mean the relationship will last or that your ex is happier.

But also, stop obsessing over this. Whether their rebound is hot or not shouldn’t matter to your life.

Will My Ex Realize They Made A Mistake?

Maybe eventually, maybe never. But by the time they realize it (if they ever do), you should be so far past them that you don’t care anymore. Work toward that goal.

Can Both People In A Rebound Be Rebounding?

Yes. It’s called a mutual rebound. Two hurt people using each other as emotional scaffolding. It rarely works out well, but occasionally two people heal together and it becomes something real.

How Do I Avoid Becoming Someone’s Rebound?

Ask how long ago their last relationship ended. If it’s been less than 3-4 months and it was serious, proceed with caution. Watch for red flags: constant ex talk, emotional unavailability, rushing physical intimacy without emotional depth.

If you spot these signs, either address them directly or walk away.