I Miss My Ex: Why You Miss Them And 25 Powerful Solutions

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I spent months missing my ex after she dumped me. As you’d expect, everything reminded me of her during that time.

The business strategizing I’d been doing at my marketing job reminded me of when we prepped for exams together. The long evening walks in the park reminded me of the many unforgettable dates we had at that place. The table I sat at while munching on a mayonnaise sandwich at home reminded me of that one euphoric time when I fucked her on it.

I occasionally missed my ex so much that my mind started playing tricks on me. I kept seeing her face in the crowd of faceless people. I thought I heard her voice echoing through the halls of my home. I dreamt of her constantly, often bursting into tears after regaining consciousness and realizing it wasn’t real.

The point of all this is to say I understand what you’re going through. Like most people, I’ve been there. Missing an ex is probably one of the most exhausting parts of grappling with a breakup. For this reason, a definitive guide on the topic seems pretty damn necessary. Well, here it is.

I’ll start by delving into why you might miss your ex. Next, I’ll unpack 15 solutions to missing them less, whether you want to get them back or get over them. Then I’ll explain what you can expect once you apply the solutions. Finally, I’ll address a common pitfall many people who miss their ex fall for.

It’ll be a bittersweet ride, so grab a box of tissues and let’s get this shit over with.

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Why Do You Miss Your Ex So Much

You probably miss your ex because of one or more of the following reasons.

1. The Surface Level Reasons Why You Miss Your Ex

You miss how your ex made you feel, be that loved, secure, worthy, or respected.
You miss the wonderful memories you shared with your ex — the painful reminders of what you’ve lost. Things like the day you met, your first kiss, your wedding day.
You miss the future you had hoped for and envisioned with your ex — marriage, kids, a home, growing old together, and the like.
You miss your ex because you’re lonely and missing connection, companionship, and sex, the meaningful kind, that is. (1)

2. A Deeper, More Biological Reason Why You Miss Your Ex

Thanks to evolution, our brains have been wired to miss our ex after a breakup.

We’ve been programmed to miss the people we love and care about. Whether monogamous or polyamorous, we’ve been programmed to create meaningful relationships with those people. We’ve been designed to want familiarity, comfort, and the commitment their existence provides us. And we’ve evolved to where once a meaningful relationship that provided all these benefits implodes, we suffer. Sometimes violently.

Except for psychopaths, it’s impossible to let this programming go. So don’t even try. The best you can do is manage it better, which we will get into later in the article. For now, however, note that this is yet another valid reason you miss your ex.

3. An Even Deeper, More Psychological Reason Why You Miss Your Ex

When we’re in love with someone, our brain tells our body to release a cocktail of adrenaline, serotonin, testosterone, estrogen, and, most importantly, dopamine. We call these The Love Chemicals. (2)

These chemicals not only make us feel good and help us maintain a sense of well-being, but they also lead us to seek out the stimulus that gave us those feelings in the first place. The stimulus, in your case, is being close to your ex, physically and emotionally.

The theory goes that the more you’ve fallen for them, the more Love Chemicals your body releases and the more your emotional bond toward them hardens. And the sturdier the bond, the more infatuated you become. And the more infatuated you become, the more you miss them after you break up. (3)

4. A Super Deeper, More Philosophical Reason Why You Miss Your Ex

When we’re in love with someone for an extended period, our identities — our beliefs, goals, and values — begin to amalgamate. One partner figuratively fuses with a part of the other partner’s identity and vice versa, forming what’s called a shared identity. (4)

A shared identity deepens the love, respect, trust, and emotional connection between two people, and it helps them live a longer, mentally healthier, and more meaningful and fulfilling life. It also promotes an intense feeling of oneness, hence the name. (5)

Now think about this: a relationship that gave you meaning and fulfillment and, on a biological level, homeostasis, is suddenly stripped away. What do you think would happen?

Exactly. You’d likely fall into a deep existential crisis. A crisis where you’d not only start to miss your ex like crazy but also begin to feel alienated, aimless, numb, and sometimes even depressed. At its extreme, you might even feel as though there’s not much point in living altogether.

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How To Miss Your Ex Less

When you miss your ex, you might give in to your urges and stalk them, contact them, mindlessly chase after them, or even show up at their door unannounced and try to convince them to take you back.

Next, you get yourself rejected and start feeling even worse. So you try to numb yourself from the pain by abusing booze, drugs, social media, or sex.

And once your feelings are all nicely bottled up and you’re freaking out why you can’t feel anything, you reach out toward the razor.

We want to avoid responses like these. Obviously they’re ineffective in ending your longing. So here are some better ways to handle missing your ex.

1. Cut Contact With Your Ex (Or At Least Distance Yourself From Them)

To miss your ex less, it’s best to stick to the following:

Don’t call, text, or engage with your ex’s social media anymore.
Refrain from going to places where you may come across them.
Take control of your environment by removing any objects or mementos that remind you of them.
Avoid going to places that trigger painful memories.
Consider returning or discarding any items gifted to you by your ex.
If you have mutual friends, cut them out of your life for a time or distance yourself from them.
If you work or live together or share kids or pets with your ex, only talk about those subjects. Keep your conversations short and polite, and end them when you make some mutually beneficial agreement or decision.

A popular term for this approach is “going no contact.” If you’d like to read a deep dive about how it can help you get back with your ex or get over them, consider this article: The Ultimate Guide To The No Contact Rule.

Generally, the longer you make your “no contact period,” the sooner you’ll miss your ex less. In contrast, the shorter you make this period, the more difficult ceasing to miss them will become — not to mention the unnecessary suffering you’ll need to deal with.

2. Manage Your Stress Effectively

Based on a renowned Harvard study, here are three ways to do it. The better you manage it, the sooner you’ll miss your ex less. (6)

1. Relaxation modalities: meditation, mindfulness, journaling, gratitude practices, guided imagery, art therapy, yoga, breathing exercises, and a good night’s rest.

2. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): an approach based on the idea that changing unhealthy thinking or replacing it with a different form can change your emotions.

3. Goal setting and healthy habit formation: be that in your career, fitness, health, self-care, business, relationships, social life, or spiritual health. The thinking goes that people who set goals for themselves and cultivate habits that get them closer to hitting those goals feel more in control of their lives, propelling them to focus more on themselves and miss their ex less.

3. Rally Your Support System And Lean On It

Apart from making you miss your ex less, a well-established support system will also improve your ability to perform under pressure, alleviate emotional distress, increase self-esteem, fend off loneliness, and lead to a more stable lifestyle. (7)

If you don’t have a support system in place yet, here’s how to build it:

Reconnect with people you perhaps forgot about.
Spend more time with friends and family than usual.
Challenge yourself to make new friends.

Once you have a support system in place, lean on it shamelessly but without expecting a certain answer in return. So vent a bit, ask for advice, gather feedback, or simply request a listening ear.

4. Date Yourself For A While — Date Others When Ready

Looking for your next partner while you miss your ex isn’t a good idea. Instead, use this period to become comfortable with solitude. A decent way of doing this is through dating yourself.

So next time you feel like it, go to the cinema, a museum, a hike, a fancy restaurant, whatever you like to do for fun. Indulge yourself a bit and be selfish.

Regarding dating other people, start only when it begins to feel fun and exciting. Because the last thing you want is to date only to push your pain deeper down. That’s a one-way ticket to misery.

5. Throw Yourself Into Self-Care, Hobbies, And Responsibilities

The more you double down on them, the more bearable you’ll make those urges of missing an ex.

Self-care: straighten out your diet, improve your sleep, exercise regularly, keep your hygiene in check, and don’t let yourself go. For more information, read: A No Bullshit Guide To Self-Care After A Breakup.

Hobbies: make a bucket list, pick a random activity from it, and do it. Then optimize further — either pick a new activity or go deeper with the current one.

Responsibilities: work, school, child-rearing, and so on. Pick one of these responsibilities and set a goal tied to it. Then work on hitting that goal. Note that the intensity of this goal should somewhat match the degree of how much you miss your ex. Put differently, if you’re still missing them while clawing towards it, you could probably set an even more meaningful goal.

6. Rebuild Your Routine And Structure

Whether it’s prepping meals together, going to the gym, watching certain TV shows, or having a morning coffee — the absence of these shared activities often leaves a void in you, making you miss your ex more.

Therefore, regaining structure and routine post-breakup is essential. It’ll basically be one of the few things filling in your void so you can move forward more smoothly, reducing the intensity of missing an ex.

Here’s another way to think about it: your new routines and structures, whether it’s adopting a new fitness regimen, exploring new hobbies, or simply altering your meal schedule, serve as healthy distractions that offer a sense of normalcy amidst the emotional turmoil.

7. Don’t Resort To Blame

Blaming your ex for your breakup does feel good in the short term but has dire repercussions in the long — inability to move on, rumination, anger problems, and the summoning of repeated, intense spurts of missing your ex.

So, how can you avoid the blame game? By taking responsibility for your breakup — by acknowledging that while it may be your ex’s fault, it’s always your responsibility how you’ll respond and deal with it.

You can feel like shit right now, and it may be because of your ex, but it’s not their job to pick you up and straighten out your emotions — it’s your job to get your emotional shit in order.

8. Move, Make, Meet

Another solid way to stop missing your ex is leveraging Nick Wignall’s popular 3M Formula. (8)

Move: hit the gym, go for a walk, lift weights, dance, do yoga, etc. Just do something that involves movement.
Make: cook, create artwork, write a blog post, fix a leaking sink, take up photography, etc. Just do something productive or creative.
Meet: meet up with someone you’re close with and hang out. Note that this is a bit different from the support system approach that I introduced in solution #3. In a support system, your aim is to get help. Here, your aim should be to just bond, relax, and have fun.

9. Set Time To Miss Your Ex And Let It All Out

This is one of the simplest ways to stop missing your ex. It boils down to four easy steps:

Go somewhere you won’t be bothered.
Set a timer for 10 or 15 minutes.
Let yourself miss your ex as much as you want.
If you’re angry, scream. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re frustrated…er, masturbate.

Once the timer rings, your longing for your ex should deflate a bit. However, this effect will only last briefly. So I suggest you repeat this activity multiple times. Whenever you essentially feel like you’re carrying pent-up emotions.

10. Humor Yourself

Whenever you miss your ex, close your eyes and bring whatever ex-related thoughts are on your mind to the forefront, then give them a humorous twist.

Here are a few examples of how to do this:

Illustrate your thoughts through quirky drawings.
Sing about the thoughts in the tune of “Happy Birthday.”
Scribble your thoughts on a set of sticky notes and stick them all over your home.
Songify your thoughts.
Translate your thoughts into another language.

This solution isn’t for everyone, but play around with it. Think of it as an experiment. Besides, you don’t really lose anything by trying. Maybe It’ll help you miss your ex less, maybe it won’t. Fuck around and find out.

11. Find Something More Important Than Your Ex

Lots of people who miss their ex miss them because they failed to adequately diversify their identity. They make their ex the center of their world instead of letting them be one of the many meaningful things going on in their life.

And so, they’re completely fucked once their relationship fails because they have nothing else to really care about and look forward to. As a result, they usually fall into an existential crisis, experience spells of depression, and generally suffer more than the average breakup survivor.

If you’re someone who has nothing but a dead relationship going on in their life, start searching for something else to care about — something that feels more important and meaningful than your ex: striving toward some goal, fighting for a particular cause, caring about another relationship, or following some life purpose.

12. Leverage Mental Health Professionals And Support Groups

Seeking help from mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, or joining support groups can be extremely beneficial when you miss your ex. In fact, it’s probably super beneficial regardless of what post-breakup challenge you’re dealing with.

Therapists and counselors can provide you with a safe, welcoming environment, nonjudgmental guidance, and a litany of proven strategies, approaches, and tools to help you navigate through your emotions in a healthy and productive way.

And support groups offer a platform where you can connect with others who are going through a similar experience. This not only helps you feel less alone and isolated, but it’s also just super comforting seeing that you aren’t alone in this — that your problems aren’t special or unique.

As a side note, breakup coaching can also be useful, granted you’re curious about the more surface-level, technical stuff. For example, how to get back with an ex, maintain no contact, or figure out the reasons behind the breakup. If those things interest you, consider my coaching offers.

13. Realistically Reassess Your Relationship

Instead of focusing solely on the positive aspects of the past relationship you had with your ex, strive to develop a more balanced outlook. After all, everyone has flaws and no relationship is without its challenges.

Don’t get me wrong, though. The intention here isn’t to bullshit yourself that the relationship was all bad. All I am saying is that you should take a step back and evaluate it in a more comprehensive and realistic manner, acknowledging all its highs as well as the lows.

So ask yourself:

What aspects of the relationship worked well?
What areas didn’t meet your expectations?
What could have led to the termination of the relationship — are these factors still relevant or have they been resolved?
What changes would you want to implement in your next relationship?
If a neutral third party were to evaluate your relationship, what might their observations be?
If a friend were in a similar predicament and sought your advice, what guidance would you provide?

Reflect on these questions; write down your answers. They’ll likely lead you to a more realistic understanding of your dead relationship and, consequently, knock your ex off the proverbial pedestal, which will propel you to miss them less.

14. Don’t Force Yourself To Stop Missing Your Ex

As counterintuitive as it sounds, the harder you try to miss your ex less, the more you’ll miss them. This is The Backwards Law in action.

A great way to illustrate it is with a Chinese finger trap. You’ve probably played with it as a kid. It’s a woven bamboo-shaped tube with two holes on each side. You stick your finger in those two holes or ends, and then it happens: the harder you pull, the more stuck you get. The not-so-secret secret of getting your finger unstuck is to push it farther in the tube instead of pulling it out with full force.

The same philosophy applies when you’re trying to miss your ex less. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Don’t force yourself to stop missing them. Try to coast with the feeling, acknowledging it but not attempting to remove or suppress it.

15. Know That There Is Always An End To Missing Your Ex

In the intricate journey of recovering from a breakup, an interesting truth resides: sometimes, the yearning for your ex may not require intervention at all. Sometimes, all you need to do is surrender, allowing time to weave its healing tapestry.

And while time doesn’t heal trauma or needy tendencies or shitty self-esteem, it does get you to feel like yourself again when enough of it passes. So, don’t be afraid of simply waiting for time to make you stop missing your ex.

Chances are, it will eventually — even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

16. Practice Opposite Action

This is a concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). When you miss your ex and feel the urge to reach out, do the exact opposite of what that emotion is telling you to do.

Miss them? Don’t text them — text a friend instead. Want to drive by their house? Drive in the opposite direction. Feel like checking their social media? Close your phone and go for a walk.

The idea is that emotions aren’t always accurate guides for action. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is act against what you’re feeling in the moment. Over time, this rewires your brain’s response to missing them.

17. Write Letters You’ll Never Send

Grab a notebook and write everything you wish you could say to your ex. Don’t hold back. Be angry, be sad, be desperate, be whatever you need to be.

Write about what you miss. Write about what you’re angry about. Write about the future you’ll never have. Write about how unfair it all feels.

Then don’t send it. Keep it, burn it, delete it — whatever feels right. The point is getting it out of your system, not sending it to your ex.

This exercise helps you process emotions without the risk of doing something stupid like actually contacting them when you’re in a vulnerable state.

18. Catalog The Red Flags You Ignored

When you miss your ex, you’re probably romanticizing the relationship and conveniently forgetting all the shit that went wrong. Counter this by making a comprehensive list of every red flag, warning sign, and incompatibility issue.

Write down:

Times they disrespected you.
Patterns that bothered you.
Fundamental incompatibilities.
Moments you felt unseen or unheard.
Things they did that hurt you.
Reasons the relationship needed to end.

Keep this list somewhere accessible. When you start missing them and thinking about how great they were, read it. It’s a reality check that’ll snap you out of your nostalgia spiral.

19. Change Your Physical Environment

Your environment holds memories. Every corner of your apartment might remind you of them. Your bed, your couch, that coffee shop you went to every Sunday — they’re all triggering your longing.

So change it:

Rearrange your furniture.
Redecorate your space.
Move to a new place if feasible.
Find new coffee shops, new gyms, new hangout spots.
Change your routine entirely.

Creating new associations with your spaces helps break the automatic connection between your environment and memories of your ex. Your brain stops expecting to see them everywhere.

20. Track Your Progress With A “Miss Meter”

Create a simple daily tracking system. Every night, rate how much you missed your ex that day on a scale of 1-10. Keep a log for weeks or months.

This does two things:

First, it gives you tangible evidence that you’re healing. You’ll see the numbers trend downward over time, even if it doesn’t feel like it day-to-day.

Second, it helps you identify patterns. Maybe you miss them more on Sundays because that was your date day. Or you miss them less when you’re busy with work. Knowing your patterns lets you plan around them.

21. Create A “Future Self” Vision

Missing your ex keeps you stuck in the past. Counter this by getting obsessed with your future instead.

Write out in detail who you want to be 6 months, 1 year, 5 years from now:

What does your life look like?
What have you accomplished?
What kind of person have you become?
What kind of relationship do you have (if any)?
How do you feel about yourself?

Make this vision so compelling that working toward it feels more exciting than dwelling on your ex. When you miss them, redirect your energy to building this future instead.

22. Practice Exposure Therapy (With Boundaries)

This is controversial, but hear me out. Sometimes avoiding every single reminder makes you more sensitive to them. Instead, practice controlled exposure to memories in a safe way.

For example:

Look at one old photo, feel the emotion, then close it.
Drive past a place you went together, acknowledge the memory, keep driving.
Listen to a song that reminds you of them, sit with the feeling, then move on.

The key is you’re doing this intentionally and with limits — not spiraling into hours of stalking their social media or obsessing over old texts. Brief, controlled exposure can help desensitize you over time.

Warning: This only works if you can actually maintain boundaries. If you’re prone to spiraling, skip this one.

23. Find Your “North Star” — A Purpose Bigger Than Them

You miss your ex because they were the center of your world. The solution? Find something more important to care about.

This could be:

A career goal that genuinely excites you
A cause you’re passionate about
A creative project you want to complete
A physical challenge (marathon, competition, transformation)
Building a business or side hustle
Developing a skill to mastery level

When you have something meaningful pulling you forward, missing your ex becomes background noise. You’re too busy building something that matters to obsess over what you lost.

24. Use The “90-Second Rule” For Emotional Waves

Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor discovered that the physiological lifespan of an emotion is 90 seconds. After that, you’re choosing to keep the feeling alive by continuing to think the thoughts that trigger it.

Next time you miss your ex intensely:

Set a timer for 90 seconds.
Feel the emotion fully without judgment.
Don’t try to suppress it or distract yourself.
Just observe it like a wave passing through.

After 90 seconds, the peak intensity will pass. If you’re still feeling it, you’re feeding it with your thoughts. Recognize that and redirect your attention.

This helps you realize that missing them isn’t a permanent state — it’s a wave that comes and goes. You don’t have to act on it or let it consume your day.

25. Schedule “Grief Appointments” With Yourself

Instead of randomly missing your ex throughout the day and letting it derail everything, schedule specific times to grieve.

Set aside 20-30 minutes, maybe 2-3 times a week, where you allow yourself to:

Look at old photos if you want.
Cry about what you lost.
Write about your feelings.
Sit with the pain fully.

But when that time is up, you’re done. Close the folder, put away the journal, and move on with your day.

This contains the grief instead of letting it bleed into every moment. Your brain learns that there’s a time and place for missing them, and it’s not 24/7.

Outside your grief appointments, when you start missing them, remind yourself: “I’ll process this during my next grief appointment.” Then redirect your attention to what you’re doing.

What To Expect When You Try To Miss Your Ex Less

In short, a fucking shitshow. There will be pain and uncertainty, there will be intense emotional ups and downs, there will be bad decisions.

Echoing the stages of any breakup, once you apply the tips I’ve shared so far, you might first find yourself in the throes of shock, disbelief, and denial. This will, in turn, usually make you think, “How could this have happened to me?” “It was the furthest thing from my mind,” “Is this even real?” “They probably didn’t mean it,” or “They just need time to cool down, and then they’ll come back, and everything will be back to normal.”

Then comes the rumination. During this period, you’ll often find yourself caught in a loop of repetitive thoughts, analyzing what went wrong, re-examining past conversations or events, and questioning your own actions or decisions. Generally speaking, this is the period during which you’ll miss your ex most intensely.

And then begins the disorganization and confusion, where you’ll grapple with days of oversleeping and undersleeping, days when you lack appetite and days when you overeat, days when you’re hyper-productive and days when you’re sluggish.

Next comes the emotional mess period. In it, you’ll be inundated by a plethora of intense emotions — most commonly, devastation, anger, sadness, guilt, and anxiety. As a result of these feelings, you can also expect emotional fragility, tamper tantrums, frustration, irritability, powerlessness, loneliness and isolation, self-blame, dumpers remorse and regret, fear of the future, and even physical symptoms like restlessness, racing thoughts, insomnia, and increased heart rate.

You’ll probably also go through a period of wanting your ex back sooner or later. Basically, a period during which you’ll experience a surge of nostalgia, reminiscing about the good times shared with them. You may also find yourself idealizing your relationship, remembering the positives while downplaying or overlooking the negatives — as well as reasons that led to the breakup in the first place.

After a few days or weeks of suffering, you’ll find yourself feeling ambivalent. You’ll miss your ex like crazy one day and then feel indifference towards them the next. Sometimes ambivalence will grab you by the neck, and you’ll have no control over it. But other times, you’ll quickly be able to calm yourself down. As you’d guess, these shifts of ambivalence will most often be sporadic and random.

Finally, you’ll begin to accept your situation — you’ll begin to accept the fact that you miss your ex. While residual feelings may still linger during this period, as well as a desire to reconcile, acceptance does allow you to focus more easily on personal growth and envision new possibilities for the future.

Of course, not everyone who tries to stop missing their ex goes through these exact stages or periods, or however you want to call them. They’re only a pattern I and the other people in my industry keep seeing.

The Dangers Of Missing Something Other Than Your Ex

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I’ll end this piece with a warning.

Lots of people think they miss their ex, but in reality, they only miss who they could’ve been — they don’t miss their ex as a person but simply feel bad for the self-constructed potential they ascribed to their character that went to waste in their opinion.

Oh yeah, and other people simply miss having a warm body by their side to quench their need for connection and sex and don’t even care about anything remotely related to their ex — even when they think they do.

Maybe you’re facing a similar dilemma to any of the above. So, just to be safe, here are some questions that’ll help you get to the bottom of who or what you’re actually missing:

Do I miss the idea of my ex — the person they could’ve been if we stayed together?
Am I projecting my desires, hopes, and expectations onto my ex?
Do I miss feeling less lonely?
Do I miss connection and closeness?
Do I miss being loved?
Am I idealizing and romanticizing my ex?
Do I miss the security, certainty, and routine of a relationship?
Is my thinking based on fear of loss and neediness?

If, after rigorous self-examination, you conclude that you are, in fact, missing something other than your ex as a person, consider getting therapy. Because if the above rings true, you’ve likely adopted some emotional blind spots and limiting beliefs that stymie recovery and sabotage re-attraction. A therapist can help you address these psycho-blemishes and provide a productive way to bounce back to a healthier and more attractive headspace.

(Optional) Top Questions About Missing An Ex

Should I contact my ex when I miss them (I want them back)?

The only time you should reach out to your ex if you want them back after they dumped you is if you weren’t clear about your desire for rekindling things prior. In which case, reach out and express your desire honestly. But without over-explaining, being dramatic, or apologizing for no reason.

After stating your interest, if your ex is receptive, invite them on a date. But if they’re unreceptive and cold or if they blocked, ignored, or rejected you, end the conversation and move on with your life.

For more information on how to get your ex back in general, give this article a read.

Is it Okay to To Tell My Ex I Miss Them?

In the following cases, YES — it’s okay to tell them you miss them:

You want them back but haven’t yet communicated anything along those lines yet.
You’ve decided that getting back together is not a good idea, but you still want to maintain a friendship with your ex (not recommended).
You don’t want to reconnect but want to apologize for your past mistakes or behavior.
Your are dating, already in regular communication, and feel comfortable with each other.
Your ex reaches out to you expressing that they miss you.

In the following cases, NO — it’s not okay to tell them you miss them:

If your breakup is recent and you are desperate to get them back.
If you are contacting them solely to get them to talk to you again, using your feelings of missing them as a manipulative tactic.
If your ex is dating someone else.
If you are currently in a new relationship.

How Long Will It Be Till I Stop Missing My Ex?

How long it’ll take to stop missing an ex is different for everyone. That said, there are several known factors that influence the timeline.

Self-esteem/worth. If you have low self-esteem or self-worth, you’ll probably miss your ex more than the average person.
Lifestyle quality. Similar to the above. The shittier your lifestyle (health, social life, habits, goals, ambitions, etc.), the more you’ll generally miss your ex.
Resilience. You can either take your breakup poorly, keep revisiting it, and judge and persecute yourself for it, or you can counter the feelings of rejection and disappointment. The better you counter them, the sooner you’ll stop missing your ex on avarage.
Relationship length. An obvious one. The longer and more serious your relationship was, the harder it will be to let it go and the more you’ll miss it.
Previous breakups. The more of them you had, and the fresher they are, the harder it will be to put an end to your longing.
Unforeseen circumstances. These are things like breaking up with a friend or family member, having someone close to you die, losing a job, having your business go bankrupt. The more such problems you face, the more difficulties you’ll have when trying to stop missing your ex.

I’m trying to Stop Missing My Ex but they keep texting me. What should I do?

If your goal is to move on and you don’t need to stay in touch (due to kids, pets, working or living together, etc), change your number and block your ex everywhere. And if your goal is rekindling your relationship, invite your ex on a date the next time they reach out and go from there.

Is it normal to miss my ex even though it has been a long time (months or years) since my breakup?

It depends on how often you miss your ex, how long you’re missing them, and how strong those feelings are. For example, If you’re consistently missing your ex for an extended period and with high intensity (you’re obsessing), you have a problem. But if you miss your ex lightly and only occasionally, then missing them is perfectly fine.

I Miss My Ex Even When I’m In Another Relationship? Why Does It Happen?

As with the previous question, it depends on how often you miss your ex and how strong the feeling is. But when it comes to causation, things get interesting.

There are many reasons you may miss your ex when you’re in another relationship. Maybe your partner is not meeting your emotional needs. Maybe you have problems with intimacy and vulnerability. Maybe you have an insecure attachment style. Or maybe you’re with someone incompatible.

I Miss My Ex, So They Must Miss Me Back, Right?

Not necessarily. You missing your ex is in no way correlated to your ex missing you. While you’re feeling various negative emotions around your breakup, your ex may be feeling an entirely positive set of emotions.

That said, it is more likely that your ex does miss you. For signs on whether or not that’s the case, read this article. But don’t forget that them missing you doesn’t mean they’ll reach out or want to rekindle things. I still miss my exes for instance, even though its been half a decade since I saw them. But would I give any of them another chance? Hell no.

How Do I Stop Missing My Ex When I’m Still Single And They Found Someone Else?

In the same way, you would stop missing them if you weren’t single, and if they wouldn’t be dating anyone else. Still, it’s worth noting that you should be focusing only on what you can control to maintain your sanity — what’s left of it at least. For you can’t control whether or not your ex dates other people. So stop trying to. Instead, focus on your love life and consider meeting new people yourself.

I Miss My Ex So Much It Hurts. What Can I Do To Lessen The Pain?

Breakups are notorious for morphing your emotional pain into psychical if you put up with it for too long. A severe form of physical pain is officially called broken heart syndrome. An obvious sign of it is a tightness in your chest. If you sense it, immediately see a doctor.

Still, if you’re only feeling mild physical pain or discomfort, a combination of meditation, journaling, dream reporting, self-love practices, and therapy should suffice.

Is it okay to miss my ex if my relationship was toxic or my ex a narcissist?

Yes. Missing a toxic or a narcissistic ex is normal and there’s nothing wrong with it. Just remember to not return to such a person as most people do. After all, a toxic relationship has a tendency to keep you hooked due to all the gaslighting, codependency, and drama surrounding it — lots of people get addicted to these things.

To avoid rebounding, realize that your relationship was unhealthy in numerous ways and prioritize your own emotional well-being. And if necessary, seek professional support.

What does it mean if i miss my ex?

This is a loaded question. Missing your ex doesn’t have any inherent meaning — it’s not a sign from the universe indicating you’re soulmates, it’s not your inner child telling you how you should reach out, it’s not faith trying to get you to mend your relationship. Those are only things an average person makes up about their feelings of longing.

How long is it normal to miss your ex after a breakup?

There is no set period. It varies from person to person and depends on the circumstances surrounding their relationship and breakup. Some people may stop missing their ex within a few weeks, while others may take months or even years to fully let go.

Why Do I Miss My Ex More At Night?

Nighttime removes distractions. During the day, you’re busy with work, errands, social obligations. But at night, when everything quiets down and you’re alone with your thoughts, there’s nothing to distract you from the ache of missing them.

Plus, nighttime is when you used to be most intimate — whether that’s cuddling before bed, late-night conversations, or sex. Your brain associates nighttime with their presence, so their absence feels more pronounced.

Solution: Build a strong nighttime routine that doesn’t involve lying in bed staring at the ceiling. Read, journal, meditate, listen to podcasts — anything that occupies your mind until you’re tired enough to sleep.

I Miss My Ex But I Don’t Want Them Back — Is That Normal?

Completely normal. You can miss someone and simultaneously recognize that being with them isn’t right for you. Missing them doesn’t mean you want them back. It just means you’re grieving what you lost.

You can miss the good parts of the relationship, the intimacy, the companionship, without wanting to return to the incompatibilities, conflicts, or reasons it ended. These feelings aren’t contradictory — they’re just human.

Why Do I Miss My Ex More After Seeing Them?

Because seeing them reopens the wound. You had started to heal, started to create distance, and then suddenly they’re right in front of you and all those feelings come flooding back.

Your brain gets a hit of familiarity and comfort, and then it’s ripped away again when the interaction ends. It’s like detoxing from a drug and then getting a taste of it again — of course you’re going to crave more.

This is why no contact is so important. Every interaction resets your healing progress to some degree.

I Only Miss My Ex When I’m Drunk — What Does That Mean?

It means alcohol lowers your inhibitions and your ability to regulate emotions. When you’re sober, you can distract yourself, rationalize why the relationship ended, and maintain control. When you’re drunk, all that goes out the window.

Alcohol also tends to make you nostalgic and emotional, so you’re more likely to remember the good times and forget the reasons you broke up.

Solution: Don’t drink when you’re in a vulnerable emotional state. And for the love of fuck, give your phone to a friend before you start drinking so you don’t drunk text your ex.

Why Do I Miss My Ex Less Some Days And More Other Days?

Because healing isn’t linear. You’ll have good days where you barely think about them, and then something will trigger you and you’ll spiral back into missing them intensely.

This is normal. It doesn’t mean you’re not making progress. It just means healing comes in waves, not a straight upward line.

The key is that over time, the good days should outnumber the bad days, and the intensity of the bad days should lessen. That’s progress, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

I Miss My Ex But They Were Terrible To Me — What’s Wrong With Me?

Nothing is wrong with you. Missing someone who treated you poorly is incredibly common, especially if the relationship had elements of trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, or codependency.

You might be missing:

The version of them during the good times (the highs were really high)
The potential of who they could have been
The familiarity and routine, even if it was unhealthy
The validation they occasionally gave you

This doesn’t mean you should go back. It just means you need more time to heal and probably therapy to work through why you were attracted to someone who treated you badly in the first place.

Why Do I Miss My Ex Even Though I’m The One Who Ended It?

Because being the dumper doesn’t make you immune to grief. You can know that ending the relationship was the right decision and still miss aspects of it.

Dumpers often go through what’s called “dumper’s remorse” — a period where they question their decision and wonder if they made a mistake. This is normal and doesn’t necessarily mean you should get back together.

Give yourself time to sit with the decision. If you still genuinely regret it after a few months (not just miss them), then you can consider reaching out. But don’t confuse temporary nostalgia for genuine regret.

I Don’t Miss My Ex At All — Is Something Wrong With Me?

No. Some people process breakups faster than others. Or maybe you were already emotionally checked out before the relationship ended. Or maybe the relationship was so bad that the relief outweighs any sadness.

Not missing your ex doesn’t make you cold or heartless. It just means you’re healing in your own way, at your own pace.

Why Do I Miss My Ex But Not My Other Exes?

Could be a few reasons:

This relationship was longer or more serious. You were more emotionally invested. The breakup is more recent. This person met needs your other exes didn’t. Or you have unfinished business with this ex that you didn’t have with the others.

Not all relationships carry the same weight. It’s normal to miss some exes more than others.

I Miss My Ex’s Family/Friends More Than I Miss My Ex — Is That Weird?

Not weird at all. Sometimes the collateral damage of a breakup — losing their family, their friend group, their dog — hurts more than losing the actual person.

You might have genuinely bonded with their family or friends, and losing those relationships is a separate grief on top of the romantic breakup.

Unfortunately, in most cases, you have to accept that those relationships are over too. Trying to maintain them usually just keeps you emotionally tied to your ex.

Why Do I Miss My Ex More When I See Couples?

Because seeing couples reminds you of what you used to have and what you’ve lost. It triggers comparison and nostalgia.

Your brain sees a couple holding hands or laughing together and immediately flashes back to when you did those things with your ex. It’s a reminder of the void in your life where that connection used to be.

This gets better with time. Eventually, seeing couples won’t trigger you as much because you’ll have processed the loss and maybe even found someone new.

I Miss My Ex But I’m Scared To Reach Out — What Should I Do?

First, ask yourself why you’re scared. Are you scared of rejection? Scared of looking desperate? Scared of reopening wounds?

If you genuinely want them back and haven’t already made that clear, reach out once with a simple, honest message about wanting to try again. If they reject you or don’t respond, you have your answer and can move on.

But if you’re just missing them and hoping they’ll comfort you or validate you, don’t reach out. That’s using them as an emotional crutch, and it’ll only make things worse.

Why Do Certain Songs Make Me Miss My Ex So Intensely?

Music is one of the most powerful memory triggers. Hearing a song you listened to together instantly transports you back to specific moments, and all the emotions come flooding back.

Your brain has strongly associated those songs with your ex, so hearing them activates the neural pathways connected to those memories and feelings.

Solution: Avoid those songs for a while. Create new playlists with music that has no connection to your ex. Over time, you can revisit those songs once they’ve lost their emotional charge.

I Miss My Ex But I Know I Shouldn’t Contact Them — How Do I Resist?

Delete their number. Block them on social media. Give your phone to a friend when you’re feeling vulnerable. Create barriers between you and the ability to reach out.

Also, practice the 24-hour rule: If you want to contact them, wait 24 hours. If you still want to after that, wait another 24 hours. Usually, the urge passes.

And remind yourself why you’re not contacting them. Reread your red flag list, remember why it ended, and ask yourself if reaching out will actually make things better or just reopen wounds.

Will I Ever Stop Missing My Ex Completely?

Maybe, maybe not. Some people reach a point where they never think about their ex at all. Others occasionally feel a twinge of nostalgia even years later.

But what will change is the intensity and frequency. You won’t miss them every day. You won’t miss them with the same gut-wrenching pain. They’ll become a distant memory instead of an open wound.

And eventually, you’ll think about them and feel nothing — or maybe just a faint fondness for what was, without any desire to go back.