How Long Does It Take An Ex To Come Back (The Exact Answer)

Click play to listen to this article.

Based on a survey of 4534 people, aged 18 to 55, I conducted between January 2023 and April 2024, it takes an average of 2.56 months for an ex to come back after a breakup.

If you just came here for a straight answer, there you have it. You may click away now.

However, if you want to understand what this data means and how to leverage it to turn around your relationship, read further. There’s a lot more to discuss.

Featured Product

My Ex-Back Book: 'From The Inside Out'

A no-nonsense guide for thoughtful people who want reconciliation without manipulation, games, or fake behavior — just authentic growth and deep psychological understanding.

Order Your Copy

Be Skeptical Of My Survey… Hell, Be Skeptical Of Any Survey On How Long Does It Take An Ex To Come Back

My survey, as virtually all surveys, has caveats. After all, answering how long it takes for an ex to come back is tricky.

Here are just a few reasons why my survey is likely skewed:

Narrow cultural factors. Roughly 85% of the respondents were from the US, Canada, and Australia, which are individualist cultures. This means the survey results may differ in other cultural settings, such as if I conducted it across South Korea or Russia.
My unique brand identity. Put bluntly, my brand doesn’t attract gullible idiots, or at least make them stick. The people who read me are realists — they’re smart and know that getting back with an ex is usually a bad idea and that the odds aren’t in their favor. For these reasons, my readers — the people who took my survey — are more likely to move on to someone better, even when they would technically still have a chance with their ex.
The timing of the survey. It began at the tail end of the pandemic. A time when there were, on average, fewer dating options and more people craving reconciliation with an ex.
Coaching. When conducting this survey, I was coaching a few of the participants. While I don’t do much coaching, I do enough of it to perhaps skew the numbers a bit.

With the annoying but necessary disclaimers noted, let’s examine the big picture, starting with why it takes months for your ex to come back in the first place.

Free Cheat Sheet: A Roadmap To Re-Attracting An Ex Through Honesty

This cheat sheet lays out a simple yet potent approach to mending a relationship — one rooted in raw authenticity that respects both your dignity and that of your ex.

Get The Free Cheat Sheet

Why Does It Take Months For An Ex To Come Back

Roughly half of the people who took my survey have an ex with an avoidant attachment style. This means the ex tends to prioritize, sometimes even obsess over, independence, perceive close relationships as threats to their autonomy, and avoid trusting other people. (1)

This is the first reason it takes them so long to come back. Avoidants simply need more time to open up to the other person and become ready to date them again. (2)

As for the second reason, it’s time dilation. The dumper, who usually doesn’t want to reconcile, generally perceives the same number of days of not talking to the dumpee as far shorter than them. Meanwhile, the dumpee, who usually wants to reconcile, generally perceives the same number of days of not talking to the dumper as far longer than them.

Put another way: for the average dumper, not talking to their ex for 30 days will make them feel as though they haven’t spoken for 14 days. On the other hand, for the average dumpee, not talking to their ex for 30 days will make them feel as though they haven’t spoken for over 60 days.

Of course, don’t take these numbers literally. They’re only there to illustrate my point — it’s the perception difference that contributes to feeling like it’s taking forever for an ex to come back. Especially when you’re the dumpee who wants their ex back, which most of the people who read my site and who took my survey are.

Another reason it takes an ex so long to come back is because the other person, usually the dumpee, cannot stop being needy and bugging them. They keep sending messages and calling their ex, they keep asking their friends about their dating life, they keep stalking them on social media, they keep trying to get their validation, blah, blah, blah… You get the point.

Finally, the last reason it takes an ex months to come back is, simply put, shitty circumstances. Certain circumstances naturally prolong the process of getting back together with an ex. These include long-distance, the ex having a new partner, military deployment, or trust issues arising from infidelity.

Continuing with the “why” theme, let’s now unpack why the 2.56-month mark I mentioned earlier is so damn important.

The Dumper vs. Dumpee Timeline: Why Your Experience Is So Different From Theirs

One of the most painful aspects of breakups is how asymmetrical they feel. You’re dying inside while your ex seems fine. You’re counting every day since the breakup while they’re apparently thriving. This isn’t just in your head — there’s a real, measurable difference in how dumpers and dumpees experience time and healing.

The Dumper’s Head Start

Your ex didn’t just wake up one day and decide to end things. They were thinking about it for weeks, maybe months. They were emotionally preparing, mentally rehearsing the conversation, gradually detaching while still in the relationship with you.

By the time they actually dumped you, they’d already done a significant chunk of their grieving. They’d already processed a lot of the loss. They’d already started imagining life without you.

You, meanwhile, got blindsided. Even if you saw signs, you probably dismissed them or hoped things would improve. You were still emotionally invested when they pulled the plug. So while they’re at month 3 of processing the breakup, you’re at day 1.

This is why it feels so unfair. It’s not that you’re weaker or more attached. You just started the race way behind them.

Time Dilation: Why Every Day Feels Like A Week

When you’re the dumpee desperately waiting for your ex to come back, time crawls. Every day without contact feels like an eternity. A week feels like a month. Two months feels like a year.

Meanwhile, for the dumper, time flies. They’re busy, distracted, moving on. What feels like 60 days to you feels like 2 weeks to them. This is time dilation in action.

This explains why you’re thinking “it’s been forever, surely they miss me by now” while they’re thinking “it’s only been a couple weeks, why would I reach out already?”

You’re living in completely different timelines, which makes the 2.56-month average even more frustrating. Because for you, 2.56 months feels like an eternity. For them, it barely feels like enough time to think about reconciliation.

Why Dumpers Heal Faster (And What That Means For You)

According to my research, dumpers experience:

More relief post-breakup
More social support (people take their side less often)
Less grief and emotional pain
More positive personal growth
More negative thoughts about their ex (to justify their decision)

Meanwhile, dumpees experience:

Intense rejection and abandonment feelings
Lower self-esteem and self-worth
More rumination and obsessive thoughts
Stronger attachment and longing
Idealization of the relationship and the ex

This isn’t to say dumpers don’t suffer — many do, especially if they genuinely loved their partner. But the suffering is qualitatively different. They’re grieving the relationship. You’re grieving the relationship AND dealing with the trauma of rejection.

When The Dumper Finally Starts Missing You

Here’s the timeline from the dumper’s perspective:

Weeks 1-2: Relief, freedom, conviction they made the right choice. Not thinking about you much except when something reminds them, and even then it’s fleeting.

Weeks 3-4: The novelty is wearing off. Starting to notice your absence in small ways. Still not missing you enough to do anything about it.

Weeks 5-8: Separation anxiety kicks in. They’re wondering what you’re doing, if you’ve moved on, if they made a mistake. This is the “grass is greener” doubt phase.

Weeks 9-12 (2-3 months): The peak missing period. If they’re going to reach out or express regret, it’s most likely to happen now. They’ve had enough time to miss you but haven’t fully moved on yet.

Months 4+: The missing starts to fade. They’re adapting to life without you. Unless something major happens, they’re unlikely to reach out now.

Why Most Dumpees Fuck This Up

Knowing this timeline, most dumpees still sabotage themselves by:

1. Breaking no contact too early. They reach out at week 2 when the dumper is still in relief mode. All they accomplish is confirming the dumper’s decision.

2. Being too available. The dumper can’t miss you if you’re always around, always responding, always accessible. You need to actually disappear for them to feel your absence.

3. Looking desperate on social media. Posting sad quotes, obvious thirst traps, or “living my best life” content that screams “please notice me” just makes the dumper feel validated in their choice.

4. Letting their life fall apart. By the time the dumper starts missing them, they’re a complete mess. Even if the dumper reaches out, they’re not attracted to the person they find.

Why The 2.56 Month Mark Is A Turning Point In Reconciliation

Featured Product

The Radical Re-Attraction Course

An online course that teaches you how to permanently get back with your ex through honesty, vulnerability, and proper self-improvement.

Get Instant Access

Assuming you were in a reasonably serious, committed, long-term relationship — typically any relationship lasting for over a year—it’s around the second or third-month post-breakup when you arrive at a turning point in reconciliation.

Basically, a point from which getting back with your ex becomes far less likely. Why? To my knowledge, because everything gets easier and emotionally milder after the 2.56-month mark.

On the one hand, you lose a relatively large chunk of attachment to your ex and consequently want them back less. On the other hand, your ex starts to develop a similar sentiment, making them less likely to come back. (3) (4) (5)

Of course, if it’s been over three months and you still struggle to feel better, don’t beat yourself up about it. There’s no exact timeframe for breakup recovery. After all, every breakup is different, for every person is somewhat different.

In contrast, when it comes to your ex’s recovery, granted they’re the dumper, they will likely heal and move past the breakup faster than you will. Mainly because they were probably thinking about the breakup long before they’ve actually dumped you. And as they learn to live their life without you, any regrets or second thoughts about coming back get easier to ignore.

In fact, according to my research, most dumpers, when compared to dumpees, tend to think more negatively of their ex, experience more relief post-breakup, get more social support, suffer less grief, and report more positive growth. (6)

Bottom line: many dumpers hit their stride early and begin to move on quickly, and once this happens there’s not much you can do about it.

This is why I constantly yap about how you should focus on yourself post-breakup instead of chasing after your ex like an idiot. Because once they’re done, they’re probably done for good. And any additional pursuit will just push them further away.

That said, here’s some good news.

Finally…

You are not an average.

While often useful, averages in ex-back advice tend to be horribly misleading. For they ignore the most critical part of any successful reconciliation: context.

For every stat that tells me the average time for an ex to come back is 2.56 months, I can point to a former reader or client whose ex took years to come back. Just as I can point to one whose ex took only a handful of days.

Understanding The 2.56 Month Mark: What’s Actually Happening In Your Ex’s Head

The 2.56-month average isn’t some magical number pulled from my ass. It represents a psychological turning point that happens for most people post-breakup. Let me break down what’s actually going on at different stages leading up to and after this mark.

Month 1: The Fog Phase

For the dumper (usually your ex), this is still the relief period. They’re riding the high of their decision, enjoying their freedom, and probably not thinking about reconciliation at all. Any regret they feel is fleeting and gets quickly suppressed.

For the dumpee (probably you), this is pure survival mode. You’re in crisis, grasping for hope, likely making desperate moves that push them further away. The fog is thick on both sides, just in different ways.

Month 2: The Reality Check

This is when things start shifting. The dumper’s relief is wearing off. The novelty of being single is fading. They’re starting to miss certain things about the relationship — not necessarily you, but what you provided: companionship, routine, intimacy.

The dumpee is hopefully starting to stabilize. If you’ve been doing no contact and working on yourself, you’re beginning to remember who you are outside the relationship. You’re still in pain, but it’s not the acute, can’t-breathe kind anymore.

Month 2.56: The Decision Window Opens

This is the sweet spot. Both parties have had enough time to process the breakup but haven’t fully moved on yet. The dumper is experiencing genuine separation anxiety. The dumpee has enough distance to be less desperate.

This is when your ex is most likely to start seriously reconsidering the breakup. Not just having fleeting moments of “I wonder what they’re doing,” but actual “did I make a mistake?” thoughts.

But — and this is crucial — this window doesn’t stay open forever.

Month 3-5: The Window Starts Closing

After about three months, people start genuinely moving on. The intense attachment fades. Life without the ex becomes the new normal. They start dating other people or at least seriously considering it.

If your ex hasn’t reached out or shown genuine interest by the 5-month mark, they’re probably not coming back. Not because it’s impossible, but because the emotional momentum that drives reconciliation has dissipated.

Month 6+: The Window Slams Shut

After six months, most people have moved on emotionally. They might still have nostalgic moments, but the actual desire to reconcile is gone. They’ve built a life without their ex and don’t want to disrupt it.

There are exceptions — people who reconnect after years apart. But these are rare and usually involve completely different life circumstances, not just “we broke up and got back together.”

Why This Timeline Varies Wildly

The 2.56-month average hides massive variation. Here’s what speeds it up or slows it down:

Speeds up the timeline:

The breakup was impulsive or circumstantial (not due to fundamental incompatibility)
Both people genuinely loved each other and the relationship was mostly healthy
The dumper has an anxious attachment style (they panic without closeness)
No one has found anyone new yet
There’s a major life crisis that makes them seek comfort

Slows down or kills the timeline:

The dumpee keeps chasing and won’t give space
The dumper has an avoidant attachment style (takes forever to miss anyone)
The breakup was due to dealbreaker issues (abuse, chronic infidelity, fundamental value differences)
One or both people have moved on to new relationships
The dumper’s life dramatically improves after the breakup

The Harsh Reality About This Data

Here’s what the 2.56-month average doesn’t tell you: most exes who come back don’t stay back. According to my research, only about 15% of reconciled couples actually make it long-term.

So even if your ex comes back right on schedule at 2.56 months, you’re still looking at 85% odds of breaking up again. The timeline for them coming back matters way less than whether getting back together is actually a good idea.

And most of the time? It’s not.

What Actually Makes An Ex Come Back: Beyond The Timeline

The 2.56-month average tells you when your ex might start reconsidering the breakup. But it doesn’t tell you whether they’ll actually come back or what makes some exes return while others don’t.

Let me break down the real factors that determine if your ex comes back, independent of timeline.

Factor #1: The Nature Of The Breakup

Exes are far more likely to come back when the breakup was:

Circumstantial (distance, timing, external pressure) rather than due to fundamental incompatibility
Mutual or at least respectful, not explosive and toxic
A first-time breakup, not the 3rd or 4th time breaking up and getting back together
Due to fixable issues (communication problems, spending too much time apart) rather than dealbreakers (abuse, chronic cheating, incompatible life goals)

If your breakup involved screaming matches, unforgivable betrayals, or fundamental value differences, the timeline doesn’t matter. They’re not coming back, or if they do, they shouldn’t.

Factor #2: Your Post-Breakup Behavior

This is the only factor you actually control. Exes are more likely to come back when you:

Respect their decision and give them space. No chasing, no begging, no “just one more conversation.” You acknowledged the breakup and backed off.

Genuinely work on yourself. Not performative self-improvement for their benefit, but real growth. Therapy, fixing your actual issues, building a fulfilling life.

Don’t play games or try to manipulate them. No jealousy tactics, no breadcrumbing, no using mutual friends as spies. You conduct yourself with dignity.

Show (don’t tell) that you’ve changed. If they see you’ve actually addressed the issues that caused the breakup, they might reconsider. But you can’t just tell them you’ve changed — you have to actually be different.

Most people fuck this up spectacularly. They give space for 2 weeks then crack and reach out. They post obvious thirst traps. They drunk text. They beg mutual friends to intervene. All of this pushes the ex further away.

Factor #3: Their Current Life Situation

Exes are more likely to come back when:

They’re single and struggling in the dating market
Their rebound relationship fails
They experience a major life crisis (job loss, health scare, family death)
They’re lonely and lacking social support
Their life isn’t going as well as they thought it would after leaving you

Harsh truth: sometimes exes come back not because they genuinely want you, but because you’re familiar and comfortable when everything else in their life is chaotic. This isn’t the kind of “coming back” that leads to a healthy relationship.

Factor #4: Whether They’ve Actually Changed

An ex coming back means nothing if they haven’t addressed what caused the breakup in the first place. Look for evidence of real change:

Are they acknowledging their role in the breakup, or still blaming everything on you?
Have they done any work on themselves (therapy, self-reflection, actual behavior change)?
Are they willing to have difficult conversations about what went wrong?
Do they have a concrete plan for how things would be different this time?

If they reach out with the same issues, same patterns, same unwillingness to take responsibility — the timeline is irrelevant. You’ll just break up again.

Factor #5: The Fundamental Compatibility

Some relationships shouldn’t be rekindled, no matter how long it’s been. If you and your ex have:

Fundamentally different life goals (kids vs. no kids, different career ambitions, incompatible lifestyles)
Incompatible values (different views on money, family, relationships, ethics)
Chronic communication issues that never improve
A pattern of toxicity and dysfunction

Then time won’t fix it. They might come back, but it won’t work. Compatibility issues don’t heal with space.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Exes Coming Back

Most exes who come back don’t stay back. According to my data, only 15% of reconciled couples make it long-term. The other 85% break up again, often within a few months.

Why? Because:

The underlying issues weren’t actually fixed
One or both people came back out of loneliness, not genuine desire
The relationship dynamics didn’t fundamentally change
They got back together too quickly, before either person had really healed or grown

So even if your ex comes back at the statistically perfect 2.56-month mark, you still have 85% odds of it failing. This isn’t pessimism — it’s reality. And it’s why obsessing over when they’ll come back is pointless if you’re not also asking whether you should even want them back.

Stop Obsessing About How Long Does It Take An Ex To Come Back

You can’t control how long it will take your ex to come back. Or how long it will take you to mend things. Everyone is different, and every situation is different.

So here’s a better alternative to obsession: focus on what you can actually control. Ideally, the things that will actually make a difference whether your ex comes back or not.

To name a few:

Get the basics in order — get quality sleep, get or stay in shape, start or maintain a healthy diet, and keep your hygiene in check.
Take a break from work if you’re stressed out, move out of your parent’s place if you have the means for it and are of a ripe age, get your financial life in order, and get some responsibilities like studies or work under your belt.
Take up modalities like meditation, journaling, gratitude practices, and therapy to learn how to manage your emotions better.
Socialize more than usual, either with friends, family, or both.
Start dating as soon as the idea begins to feel fun and exciting.
Invest in your lifestyle (hobbies and interests, core beliefs and values, attitude, career, social life, etc.), and mold it into something you’re proud of.
Get your emotional health in order — decrease neediness, shame, and anxiety while concurrently increasing self-worth, self-esteem, confidence, and your ability to set boundaries and be vulnerable.
Acquire the necessary skills to cultivate a healthy relationship with your ex if they, by some miracle, do come back.
Find something more important than your ex to care about. Something that imbues your life with meaning and purpose despite your heartbreak.

You get the idea.

This Shit Takes Time — Reconciliation, In General, Takes A Lot Of Time

If you rush back into a relationship with your ex, what is really going to change? Will you be different? Will your ex be different? Will things actually work out?

No, no, and probably no.

And while it’s easy to think otherwise because your heartbreak has forced you to reevaluate literally everything about your life, be honest with yourself for a second. You’re not where you need to be right now. Deep down, you know it’s true. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.

And I get it — it sucks. You feel stuck and aren’t sure how to move forward from here. How do you balance working to get your ex back and working on yourself so you end up content and with minimal emotional scathe whether you mend things or not?

You sign up for my Radical Re-Attraction Course.

I know, I know, it was a shameless plug. But fuck it — it’s a quality course I’m very proud of. So I’ll promote it when it feels right.

With hours of exclusive video content, hundreds of pages of writing, and a private community with one-on-one coaching, I’ll walk you through every step of getting back with an ex, cutting out all the confusion.

If you’re a reasonable thinker, are willing to do some occasionally uncomfortable self-reflection, and hold self-improvement in high regard — the course should be a great fit. Or it might not be, who knows.

Try it and find out.

FAQ: Everything Else You’re Wondering About Your Ex Coming Back

Should I Wait For My Ex To Contact Me First?

Yes, but don’t just wait passively. Rather, pretend your ex is gone for good and focus on improving yourself and living a fulfilling life. This approach not only makes you more attractive but also helps you grow beyond the need for validation from your ex. So by the time they reach out, you’ll be in a clearer, calmer, and more centered position to decide what you truly want and how to proceed.

Read further: The Ultimate Guide To The No Contact Rule.

How Long Should I Wait For My Ex To Come Back?

Granted, you already communicated that you want them back, wait until they reach out first. From this point, engage in a short conversation and then quickly invite them on a date. Remember: the goal behind every interaction with your ex, granted it’s not tied to logistics like kids, pets, or living arrangements, is to get your ex on an actual date.

How Do I Know If My Ex Is Interested In Coming Back?

Here are some big signs to look for: your ex keeps reaching out, showing genuine interest, expressing regret over the breakup, reminiscing about the good times you shared, and talking about changes they’ve made since the breakup. That said, approach these signs with caution. They aren’t guarantees that your ex will come back, but merely signals of high or higher attraction.

Read further: 30 Glaring Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back.

How Can I Deal With Rejection If My Ex Doesn’t Want To Get Back Together?

Honestly? You stomach it, politely end the conversation, and walk away forever. Then give your ex another shot only when they reach out again first and are receptive and enthusiastic about seeing you. Also, please don’t take rejection to heart. It’s not a reflection of your worth but simply an opportunity for growth and finding someone more compatible in the future.

Read further: How To Risk Rejection And Admit Uncomfortable Truths.

What If It’s Been Longer Than 2.56 Months And My Ex Hasn’t Reached Out?

Then they’re probably not coming back, at least not anytime soon. After about 5-6 months, most people have moved on emotionally. The window closes. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible — some exes do come back after years — but the odds drop significantly. Stop waiting and start genuinely moving on.

Does The 2.56 Month Timeline Apply If I Got Dumped?

The timeline applies regardless of who ended it, but there’s a catch: if you got dumped, your ex had a head start on processing the breakup. They were thinking about it for weeks or months before actually pulling the trigger. So while the average is still 2.56 months from the breakup date, they’re actually further along in their healing than you are.

What If My Ex Came Back But Then Left Again?

This is a pattern you need to break, not repeat. If your ex keeps coming back and leaving, it means the fundamental issues aren’t being addressed. Don’t accept this yo-yo bullshit. The next time they leave, let it be permanent. You deserve someone who’s actually sure about wanting to be with you.

Can I Speed Up The Timeline By Doing No Contact?

No contact doesn’t speed up the timeline — it just prevents you from pushing them further away. The 2.56-month average already assumes you’re not constantly bothering them. If you are chasing them, you’re not just slowing down the timeline, you’re killing any chance they’ll come back at all.

What If My Ex Is In A New Relationship?

Then they’re not coming back right now, and you need to accept that. Even if it’s a rebound that eventually fails, you can’t sit around waiting for that to happen. Move on with your life. If their new relationship ends and they reach out, you can decide then whether you’re even interested anymore.

Does The Timeline Change If We Were Together For Years?

Generally, longer relationships take longer to heal from, which can extend the timeline. But it can also go the other way — sometimes people in long relationships come back faster because the investment and history are harder to let go of. There’s no hard rule here. The 2.56-month average is just that: an average across all relationship lengths.

What If I Broke No Contact — Did I Reset The Timeline?

You didn’t reset it to zero, but you probably delayed it. Breaking no contact, especially if you were needy or desperate, reminds your ex why they left. It confirms their decision. You need to go back into no contact and give them even more space now. And this time, actually commit to it.

Should I Reach Out If It’s Been Exactly 2.56 Months?

Fuck no. The 2.56 months is when they’re most likely to reach out to you, not when you should reach out to them. If they haven’t contacted you by then, reaching out yourself won’t change anything. It’ll just make you look desperate and confirm that you’ve been sitting around counting the days.

What If My Ex Is Avoidant? Does That Change The Timeline?

Yes, dramatically. Avoidants take way longer to miss their ex because they suppress their emotions and prioritize independence. They might not start genuinely missing you until 4-6 months out, sometimes longer. And even then, they might not reach out because reaching out threatens their sense of autonomy. Avoidants are a special kind of torture to wait for.

What If I’m The One Who Dumped Them?

Then the timeline is irrelevant to you. You ended it. If you’re having regrets, you need to sit with that for a while and figure out if you genuinely want them back or if you’re just lonely and nostalgic. Don’t reach out impulsively. Make sure you’ve actually changed your mind for the right reasons and that you’re prepared to address whatever made you leave in the first place.

How Do I Know If I Should Even Want Them Back?

Ask yourself: Why did we break up? Have those issues been resolved? Am I idealizing the relationship and forgetting the bad parts? Do I want them back or do I just want to not feel the pain of loss? If the fundamental issues that caused the breakup haven’t been addressed, getting back together will just lead to another breakup.

What If My Friends/Family Think I Should Move On?

Listen to them. Seriously. Your friends and family have perspective that you don’t have right now. They’re not clouded by emotion and desperation. If everyone in your life is telling you to move on, there’s probably a good reason. They’re seeing red flags or patterns that you’re blind to.

Does Going On Dates With Other People Affect The Timeline?

It can, but not in the way you think. Dating other people won’t make your ex jealous and rush back to you — that only works in movies. But it will help you move on and realize there are other options out there. And ironically, that’s when exes tend to come back: when you’ve genuinely moved on and stopped waiting for them.

What If I See My Ex On Social Media Looking Happy?

Social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Everyone posts the good stuff and hides the mess. Your ex looking happy doesn’t mean they’ve moved on or don’t miss you. It also doesn’t mean they’re miserable and secretly pining for you. Stop analyzing their posts and unfollow them if you can’t handle it.

Should I Block My Ex To Help Them Miss Me?

Block them to help yourself heal, not as a manipulation tactic to make them miss you. If you genuinely can’t stop checking their social media or you’re tempted to reach out, blocking is a necessary boundary. But don’t do it performatively, expecting them to notice and chase you. That’s just game-playing.

What If It’s Been Years And I Still Think About My Ex?

Then you haven’t properly moved on, and you need to address that. Therapy is probably a good idea. It’s normal to occasionally think about an ex, even years later. But if you’re still actively hoping they’ll come back or comparing everyone to them, you’ve got some unresolved attachment issues to work through.

Can An Ex Come Back After 6 Months? A Year? Longer?

Yes, it happens. But it’s rare. And when exes do come back after long periods, it’s usually because both people have completely moved on and are now different people reconnecting in a new context. It’s not the same as getting back together after a few months. Entire life chapters have passed.

What If My Ex Says They Want To Be Friends?

That’s usually code for “I want to keep you around as an option without committing.” Don’t accept friendship if you want them back. It puts you in permanent friend-zone hell where you’re watching them date other people while pretending you’re fine with it. Politely decline and maintain no contact.

How Can I Make My Ex Come Back Faster?

You can’t. Any attempt to “make” your ex come back faster will backfire. The only thing you can control is yourself: give them space, work on your issues, build an attractive life. That’s it. Everything else is manipulation that pushes them away.

What If I’m Running Out Of Time (They’re Dating Someone, Moving Away, Etc.)?

Then it’s not meant to be right now. You can’t force timing. If your ex is dating someone else or moving to another city, that’s your answer. They’re moving on with their life without you. Accept it and do the same. If it’s meant to happen later, it will. But don’t put your life on hold waiting.

Is The 2.56 Month Average Different For Different Age Groups?

The survey covered ages 18-55, and while I didn’t break down the data by age, anecdotally younger people (early 20s) tend to move on faster because they have more dating options and less relationship history. Older people (30s+, especially with kids or marriage history) sometimes take longer because the stakes and complications are higher.

What If We Work Together Or Have Kids — Does That Change Things?

Yes, because you’re forced to stay in contact. The timeline can be longer because the constant contact prevents the separation anxiety that typically drives people back together. Or it can be shorter because you’re regularly reminded of each other’s presence. It’s unpredictable, but the forced contact makes things messy either way.

Should I Tell My Ex I’m Dating Other People?

No. If they ask, don’t lie. But don’t volunteer the information to make them jealous. That’s transparent and pathetic. Live your life genuinely, not as a performance to win your ex back. If they find out organically through mutual friends or social media, fine. But don’t weaponize your dating life.

What’s The Longest Anyone Has Waited For An Ex To Come Back?

I’ve heard stories of exes reconnecting after 5, 10, even 20 years. But those are outliers, not the norm. And typically those reunions happen because both people have completely moved on, lived separate lives, and are now different people. Don’t use extreme outliers to justify waiting indefinitely for your ex.

If My Ex Comes Back, Does That Mean We’ll Stay Together This Time?

Statistically, no. Only 15% of couples who get back together stay together long-term. Most break up again within a few months because the fundamental issues weren’t resolved. An ex coming back is not a guarantee of anything except another opportunity to fuck it up or get it right. The odds are against you.