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Tell me if this sounds familiar…
You fought fiercely to make things work with your ex. You truly gave it your all. But despite your best efforts, they’ve blocked you. On everything.
Phone, Facebook, Instagram, Email, you name it! And now you helplessly wonder why you’re blocked in the first place and how the hell to deal with the whole shit show.
Maybe you’re worried that you said something wrong. Maybe you’re afraid about what your ex thinks of you. Or perhaps what’s really bothering you is the thought that they’ve moved on for good.
And in the process, discarded you as though you’ve never meant anything to them — as though you had no real intrinsic value.
Whatever the flavor of your personal worry, the situation likely prompted you to ask yourself questions like:
- Why did my ex block me?
- Was the block fair?
- For how long will I stay blocked?
- Do they not love me anymore?
- Are they hurt or pissed off?
- How do I get them to unblock me?
- Can I still get back together with them?
- And more.
If you’re like most people blocked by their ex, you’re probably dying for answers to at least a few of these questions. Well, worry not. In this article, I’ll answer them and more. So buckle up, bitch — and let’s get through this together.
Why Has My Ex Blocked Me On Everything?
While your ex’s block may be a result of a combination of reasons, there’s always at least one that sticks out like a bashed-in, bloody corpse on a busy street.
So to make figuring out why your ex blocked you easier, here are the most common reasons why they’ve likely done it.
- You were more concerned with how they perceived you than how you perceived yourself and consequently kept trying to prove yourself to them.
- You kept sacrificing your identity for them to a point where you gave up on all the values and beliefs that made you you — the person they fell in love with.
- You were controlling, clingy, and suffocating.
- You’ve kept stalking them on social media, and they’ve kept noticing it.
- You didn’t know how or were unwilling to stand up for yourself and what you wanted.
- You’ve ended your relationship on bad terms (infidelity, lying, arguments, etc.).
- They don’t want to risk postponing their recovery by staying in touch.
- They’re playing games and trying to come out on top.
- They’re indulging in some weird revenge fetish.
- They’re simply testing you — a.k.a., gauging how you’ll respond and whether your response will be reasonable or not.
- They’re pissed off, hate your guts, or frustrated with you for whatever reason.
- They want nothing to do with you anymore and have already moved on.
- They’re dating someone new and don’t want you to get involved.
- They don’t trust themselves to resist reaching out to you. So they have to put obstacles like blocks in place in order to make contact a struggle.
- They feel guilty for breaking up and don’t want you to remind them of their mistake through your contact.
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Learn More HereIs It Fair/Mature/Ethical For My Ex To Block Me?
This is by far the weirdest question I have received on this topic. And my answer is, who gives a shit.
No use embarking on some long, convoluted philosophical journeys to untangle the whole thing. As a big-time lover of philosophy it breaks my heart to say this, but in this particular case, it’s a complete waste of time.
A block’s moral nature is irrelevant. Trying to straighten it out won’t solve anything. You’ll just make yourself go batshit insane from all the rumination.
Here’s what you should focus on instead…
Your ex has their reasons for the block. Sometimes they’re tied to what you’re doing; other times they’re tied to how they feel. Sometimes they are justified, like when you keep texting your ex. Other times they’re uncalled for, as is the case of amicable breakups.
Regardless, what you should focus on is moving forward with your life. So don’t whine, mope, and ruminate on this stuff. It’s all diminishing returns on your mental health after the first 10 minutes, anyway.
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Get Instant AccessIs It Good That My Ex Blocked Me On Everything?
Most people look at me like I have two big hairy balls growing out of my chin when I tell them this, but yes — having your ex block you on everything is often a good thing.
Here are just some of the benefits of being blocked.
Less obsessing. Obsessing over an ex is a common struggle after a breakup. However, being blocked can make it easier to stop this behavior. While it might be frustrating at first, being blocked helps you break free from a disempowering habit that prevents healing. By not being able to see their social media or contact them, you can start focusing on yourself and moving forward with your life.
Fewer Reminders. Since your ex blocked you, there’s less of a chance that you’ll come across their social media posts, which can reopen your breakup wounds and set you down a negative-thinking spiral.
Lighter Temptations. You know those times when you want to reach out to your ex to profess your unyielding love even though you know you’ll probably get rejected afterward and end up more heartbroken than ever? Well, if your ex blocks you, you’ll have fewer opportunities to act on temptations like this. Hence, you’ll have fewer chances of sabotaging re-attraction or prolonging your recovery.
Subdued Panic. Panic often makes us overlook the negative aspects of our relationship while getting us to excessively focus on the positive. Luckily, when your ex blocks you, while it does increase panic in the short term, it decreases it in the long, enabling you to eventually cobble together a more realistic and sensible understanding of the nature of your dead relationship.
Is It True That If Your Ex Blocks You, You Win?
This is a weird belief that’s been floating around the breakup space for the last few years.
The idea is that being blocked can ultimately be beneficial for your personal growth and mental health, making you the “winner” in the situation by gaining the opportunity to fully move forward with your life.
If this is your understanding, then yes, I’d say it’s true. Being blocked is a win.
However, there’s another interpretation of this belief lurking on the Webz. Some people think it means “coming out on top” of their ex. As in, winning some childish power play the ex doesn’t even know they’re participating in.
This mentality is undeniably a recipe for toxic relationships. Avoid adopting it at all costs.
Does My Ex Still Love Me If They Blocked Me On Everything?
No, your ex probably wouldn’t be in love with you if they blocked you.
When people are in love, they typically want to communicate and resolve conflicts, not sever connections by blocking. Blocking signifies a desire to create distance, move on, or protect oneself from further emotional distress.
If you’re asking this question, chances are you’re desperate to get back with your ex. Or you’re at least holding on to the hope that you’ll eventually reconcile. Look. Love alone won’t save your relationship or make it last. Love is not enough.
If you ever get back with your ex, you’ll need to prioritize other healthier values over love to make the relationship work. Here are a few decent starting points.
- Honesty — because it builds a foundation of trust and transparency.
- Empathy — because it allows you to understand and share each other’s feelings, fostering a deeper connection.
- Respect — because it ensures that you both feel valued and appreciated.
- Trust — because its essential for feeling secure and confident in the relationship.
- Vulnerability — because it enables you to open up and share your true selves, creating a bond that can withstand most challenges.
Why Has My Ex Blocked Me But Then Unblocked Me?
Because they’re confused about you.
Maybe they’re torn between checking your social media for personal updates like getting a new partner and letting you go. Or they’re torn between calling you and asking you if you’d like to get back together and leaving you alone for a few more days. Or between asking you for their stuff back and withholding the request because it could make you feel even more rejected.
Another explanation for why your ex keeps blocking and unblocking you could be because they’re testing you. That is, they want to see how you react to their mixed signals.
But then again, this is probably not the case. Most of what you think are your ex’s “tests” are more likely rejections. And you’re just too defensive and afraid to see the difference.
How Long Will It Take Until My Ex Unblocks Me?
No idea. It’s different for everyone.
Some people get unblocked in a matter of hours. Some in a matter of days. Some in a matter of years. And some never get unblocked.
Still, one key factor that influences whether your ex will unblock you is their attachment style. If they’re an avoidant — someone who puts excessive value in independence and freedom — they’ll want plenty of space, thus keeping you blocked for longer than usual.
Avoidant or not, the two things that matter during your time being blocked are that you’re a) patient and b) that you avoid being a nuisance. For instance, by calling or texting your ex when they clearly haven’t put any effort into reconnecting.
My Ex Blocked Me But Still Talks To Me, What Gives?
If your ex blocked you but still talks to you after they dumped you, it likely means you still see them in person despite being blocked digitally. Maybe you work together, share a kid, or live in the same space.
In these cases, you should communicate with your ex only when necessary and only when it’s about a problem or challenge you’re trying to arrange or resolve concerning shared responsibilities. (See: the no contact rule).
Will being in frequent contact hinder your reconnection attempts and/or your breakup recovery? Sure. But it’s not like you always have a choice. Besides, you’ll still detach from your ex and get past your breakup eventually. It’ll only take a bit longer than if you’d cut your ex out of your life for good — or if they would cut you out.
My Ex Unblocked Me But Still Hasn’t Reached Out, What Gives?
If your ex unblocked you, be it after weeks, months, or years, and hasn’t reached out yet, they’ve probably done it because:
- It’s a kind gesture, and they don’t want to come off as mean.
- They’re worried or scared about how you’ll react to being blocked.
- They feel uncomfortable talking to you about having you blocked.
- They’re afraid of hurting you even more by leaving you blocked.
- They’ve had a random urge that vanished as quickly as it appeared.
Ultimately, if your ex unblocked you, they may still harbor feelings for you, yet since they haven’t reached out, you can’t know for sure. Nevertheless, proceed as always: let them go.
If they’ve unblocked you, don’t think that they’ve suddenly gave you the green light to reach out and try to get them back. Leave them be.
It’s probably because of your excessive reaching out that they’ve blocked you in the first place. If your ex ever wants to rekindle your relationship, they will unblock you, reach and, and let you know.
What To Do If My Ex Blocks Me, How Do I Handle It?
Let’s first talk about how not to handle your ex blocking you since there is so much misinformation out there. Generally speaking, never try to force, cajole, manipulate, or use some sneaky trick to make your ex unblock you.
This means no posting provocative photos of you with random attractive people just to make your ex jealous. No sending those dumb templated text messages like “The Good Reminder Text.” No bragging to friends how well you’re doing when you’re actually not with the hopes that the fake news gets back to your ex.
These behaviors will lead you nowhere. Your ex will eventually see through your bullshit and figure out what you’re doing. And then they’ll lose trust, respect, and attraction for you, and you’ll never ever get them back.
Remember:
Getting your ex to unblock you has way more to do with how you handle yourself than how you attempt to handle them.
And on that note, here are some ways you should respond when your ex blocks you:
Accept that being blocked is beyond your control. You might not understand or agree with your ex’s reason, but respect their boundaries anyway. It’s the right thing to do. Just note that acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened; rather, it means you’re ready to stop fighting reality and start moving forward, with or without your ex.
Avoid fixation. Sure, it’s tempting to obsess over why you were blocked, but this often leads to misery. Instead of fixating on it, shift your focus to your own life. What are your goals? What hobbies have you neglected? What’s your social life like? Are you treating your body well? These are the things you should focus on and work on.
Consider a temporary social media detox. At least get through one month (here’s a guide on it). Constant updates from friends and maybe even glimpses into your ex’s life can all make moving forward more difficult. Disconnecting can help clear your mind and reduce the urge to check if they’ve unblocked you.
Rebuild your self-esteem. A good place to start would be to engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, whether it’s physical activities like yoga and running or creative outlets like painting or writing.
Don’t go through this alone. Talk to friends and family who understand what you’re going through. And consider joining support groups or talking to a therapist. Because external support can provide a different perspective and much-needed encouragement during tough times.
Journal. Because writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process your ex’s block. Specifically, journal about your progress, setbacks, and any emotions that arise.
Do a block-back: consider blocking your ex back if it helps you move forward and you’re sure you wouldn’t want to reconcile in the future.
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