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Why did my ex take three days to respond to my text? Why didn’t they pick up the phone when I called them afterward? They were active on Facebook just a minute ago! Why did they only want to meet up as a friend when I finally got a hold of them? Why were they giving so many mixed signals? What the fuck!? They flaked on me. Why? They didn’t even bother apologizing for being a no-show.
Are they playing games? Yeah, that could be it. They still like me but just don’t want to make it too easy to get them back. They’re probably afraid I won’t appreciate them as much otherwise.
Or are they testing me? It could also be the case, sure. Maybe they want to make getting them back insanely difficult to see whether I cave and become desperate or not.
But what if they want me to suffer? Nah, they wouldn’t do that… right? Perhaps they just suffer from some mental health issue or the Grass Is Greener Syndrome.
Maybe I’m overthinking things. Maybe my ex is simply confused about what they feel towards me. Perhaps the breakup hurt them so much that they don’t even know what they feel, and so they keep bouncing between a myriad of different feelings, each more perplexing than the last.
Wait, scratch that. What if they’re confused because they can’t decide between me and their new rebound relationship? It could be a possibility.
Or perhaps it’s their friends and family who confused them because they keep talking shit about me… But then again, I don’t know… Now, I’m confused.
Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. What’s going on here exactly? Let’s think this through bit by bit…
***
This is a typical thought process tormenting many people who want their ex back. Either out of anxiety, nervousness, fear of loss, insecurity, or all four, they over-complicate and overanalyze their fundamentally simple situation.
They also assume that since getting their ex back feels difficult, it must be so because they lack the proper knowledge to pull it off and not because it’s merely emotionally difficult for them.
I get the appeal of this attitude. It makes you feel like you’re accomplishing something and moving toward reconciliation through hours of research and reflection. However, that forward motion is nothing but an illusion.
For even though you think you’re making progress and exuding effort through intellectualization, you’re probably making no real progress or exuding any worthwhile effort. You’re merely spinning your wheels, wasting your time.
In fact, all your thinking and planning is probably just a means of avoiding rejection rather than achieving your ultimate goal, be that consciously or unconsciously.
Even worse, those things only distract you from a simple truth: that your ex just doesn’t like you enough to make time for you.
Oh yeah, I went there, bitch.
They’re not playing games. They’re not testing you. They don’t want you to suffer. They don’t have an attraction-blocking mental health issue or whatever. They’re not confused about you or emotional. Your ex simply doesn’t like you enough to make time for you. Likely because you’re in some way turning them off — or it could also be for no reason whatsoever.
This is why they don’t respond to your texts and calls. This is why they only want to meet up as a friend. This is why they’re giving mixed signals. This is why they flake on you. This is why you just can’t get through to them.
They just don’t like you enough to make time for you and are, therefore, rejecting you. For most people out there, that’s as deep as the rabbit hole goes.
The sooner you accept this, the better. Because the longer you keep intellectualizing your situation, the faster you’ll drown your ability to act wisely and attractively in the spewing mental garbage and thought vomit of your own making.
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