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Maybe you’re planning to post some sexy photos on Instagram. Or perhaps you want to showcase your amazing life without them. Hell, maybe you’re even considering dating someone new just to show your ex what they’re missing.
I get it. The urge to make your ex jealous is completely normal. After all, jealousy tactics are probably the most recommended strategy in the ex-back space.
But here’s what no one tells you: it always backfires. If not in the short-term, definitely in the long. And in this article, I will explain exactly why and what you should do instead.
Why “Experts” Recommend Jealousy Tactics
Simple: because it’s what you want to hear. And it’s way more appealing than the truth — that genuine attraction can’t be manipulated or forced.
Self-proclaimed gurus will tell you that jealousy creates FOMO — fear of missing out. That it triggers your ex’s competitive nature. That it makes them realize your value.
And you know what? They’re technically not wrong. Jealousy can create these effects… for about five fucking minutes.
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Order Your CopyThe Real Cost of Making Your Ex Jealous
That is, a cost that many “experts” conveniently forget to mention…
First, it makes you look pathetic. Think about it: if you have to deliberately try to make someone jealous, what does that say about you? It screams neediness/desperation. It shows that you care more about how your ex perceives you than how you perceive yourself. And neediness, my friends, is the ultimate attraction killer.
Second, your ex will see right through it. They’re not stupid. They know exactly what you’re doing when you suddenly start posting thirst traps on Instagram or when you make sure they hear about your fantastic date last weekend. And once they realize you’re trying to manipulate them? Well, congratulations — you’ve just lost a lot of respect they still had for you.
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Get Instant AccessLiving Life As A Performance
When you focus on making your ex jealous, you’re not actually moving forward with your life. You’re still orbiting around them, making decisions based on how they might react.
Every photo you post, every person you date, every “fun” activity you do — it’s all just a performance. And living your life as a performance is fucking exhausting.
Let me tell you a quick story. Last week, I got an email from a client — let’s call him Mike. Mike had spent three months trying to make his ex jealous. He dated other people, posted constant updates about his “amazing” life, and made sure his ex knew about all of it through mutual friends.
You know what happened? His ex started dating someone new and blocked him on everything. Why? Because his attempts to make her jealous showed her that he hadn’t changed at all. He was still the same manipulative fuckup of a person she broke up with.
Here’s what Mike didn’t understand — and what most people don’t understand: real attraction isn’t created through jealousy. It’s created through authenticity and genuine growth.
Your ex isn’t going to come back because they’re jealous. They might come back briefly out of competitive instinct, but they won’t stay. And isn’t that what you really want? Not just to get your ex back, but to actually keep them?
What To Do Instead
First, stop performing and start living. Focus on yourself — not for your ex, but for YOU. Hit the gym because you want to be healthier, not because you want to post workout selfies. Travel because you want to explore, not because you want to make your ex wish they were there with you.
Second, be honest with yourself and others. If you want your ex back, tell them directly. Then give them space to make their own decision. No games, no manipulation, no jealousy tactics.
Your ex fell in love with who you are, not with who you pretend to be. And if you want any chance of rekindling things, you need to become an even better version of your authentic self — not some fake persona designed to trigger jealousy.
The Bottom Line
Look, I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear. You wanted me to give you a step-by-step guide on how to make your ex crazy with jealousy until they come crawling back. But I respect you too much to sell you that bullshit.
The truth is, making your ex jealous might get their attention temporarily, but it will destroy any real chance of reconciliation. It’s like using a nuclear bomb to kill a spider — sure, you’ll get the spider, but you’ll also destroy everything else in the process.
Instead of trying to make your ex jealous, focus on yourself, be authentic, and let whatever happens happen. It’s not as sexy as revenge or manipulation, but it’s the only approach that might actually lead to a lasting relationship with your ex — or, if that doesn’t work out, with someone brand new.
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