As part of my newsletter, The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.
Here’s this week’s edition. Enjoy.
Today’s Idea:
The inability to get over your ex usually comes down to three things:
- You spend endless hours venting to friends and family.
- You keep suppressing your pain, trying to strip yourself of it.
- You can’t help but ruminate over your ex or the breakup and “what could have been.”
In other words, the three things standing in the way of feeling like yourself again are venting, suppressing, and rumination.
Keep indulging in these behaviors, and you’ll only prolong your suffering. Learn how to notice them bubbling up and avoid acting out on them, and you’ll feel much happier. Not to mention, you’ll also be more attractive because of your happiness. And that will make re-attracting your ex or attracting someone new way easier.
Today’s Suggestion:
Try to notice when you’re venting too much, suppressing your pain, or ruminating on your ex or the breakup. Then, instead of continuing to beat the same drum, take a deep breath and go do something else. Something more productive.
If you’re venting, for example, change the subject. If you’re suppressing your pain, give yourself a few minutes to feel it — to let yourself cry, get angry, or laugh hysterically. If you’re ruminating, snap out of it by moving your body (i.e., by going on a walk, a run, doing some weight lifting, drawing, sculpting, building a Lego house, etc.).
Today’s Resource:
3 Surprising Reasons You Can’t Get Over Your Ex — an article digging into the psychology of venting, suppressing, and rumination and how to artfully deal with each response.
As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. While I can’t respond to everyone, I do read everything.
Until next time,
Max Jancar
Every Monday I send out an email with one idea, suggestion, and resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love. Enter your email to join the newsletter.