The Staggering Bullshit Of The Ex-Back Gurus

It hurts to admit this, but this industry kinda sucks.

For every ex-back expert who gives healthy advice with your best intentions in mind, there are at least three who do the opposite — offering unhealthy advice and exploiting your heartbreak to sell shoddy, overhyped products. I call these scammers ‘fake gurus.’

What’s unfortunate is that more of these people keep popping up every day. So, being wary is key. Falling for a guru’s scheme doesn’t just mean wasting your money — it also means risking getting permanently rejected by your ex.

Why? Because fake gurus can’t help but give unhealthy advice for mending a relationship. For instance, how you should use reverse psychology on your ex or wait 30 days before reaching out with some trite, pre-made message template.

Now, gurus don’t necessarily give bad advice because they want you to fail. No — they give it because it sells better. Because it’s what you want to hear.

If I kept pushing the idea that you should reach out to your ex after 30 days, you’d probably be happier with me and my work than if I told you to let them go post-breakup and only consider giving them another chance if they reach out.

But herein lies the crux of the issue: people have a hard time spotting a fake guru. And that’s where this article comes in. It’s goal — to help you gain discernment.

After reading it, my hope is that you will be able to quickly spot which ex-back experts actually know what the fuck they’re talking about and whether or not they’re in it to help people or just to make a quick buck.

So here are 12 signs indicating that who you’re turning to for ex-back advice is a scamming piece-of-shit-guru. Think of them as red flags in dating. The more of them a person has, the higher the likelihood you should run away.

Sign #1: A person claims they know the secrets to reconciliation that you can’t find anywhere else

Bitch, it’s the internet. There are no ex-back secrets. You can find virtually anything you’d want for free with a quick Google search. There’s even ChatGPT now, dammit!

The notion that someone is sitting on a treasure trove of unique, untapped knowledge is a marketing tactic designed to make you feel desperate.

It’s fake hype. Don’t fall for it.

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Sign #2: A person promises you have an exceptionally high chance of getting your ex back

Pretty big red flag here. I wrote about this extensively in my article on the signs your ex will come back, but to give a quick rundown:

• According to a survey of 4534 participants, aged 18 to 55, I conducted between January 2023 and April 2024, only 32% of exes get back together.
• Of these, roughly 18% have stayed together for over a year after reconciling (and whether or not in a healthy relationship is uncertain).
• The remaining 14% parted ways shortly after their reunion.
• Other surveys and studies have also backed up these findings. I referenced all of them in my article, going over my survey. You can read it here.

Just accept it. The odds of mending your relationship just aren’t in your favor. And whoever tells you otherwise is selling you bullshit.

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Sign #3: A person Guarantees Ex-Back Success If You Follow Their Advice

For example, get a load of this copy:

[Product] is a tested, proven to work, 7-step process for getting a woman back as quickly as possible.

As long as you follow each of the steps from the program (in order), she will agree to speak to you on the phone and meet up with you in person.

At the meetup, you will then use the advanced attraction techniques from the program to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

When that happens, her guard will come down and she will begin to see you in a different light.

You simply then need to say what is advised in the program and she will agree to give the relationship another chance, or at least sleep with you one last time to see how she feels.

(source).

I can’t believe people still claim stuff like this…

My point is, no one can really guarantee that you’ll get your ex back. Breakups involve two people, and there are countless factors outside your control — most notably, your ex’s own feelings, decisions, and personal growth. A legit expert will help you focus on what you can control without making unrealistic promises about your ex’s behavior.

Sign #4: A person keeps dishing out unrealistic product claims

There are essentially exaggerated promises about a product’s results that are either extremely unlikely or outright impossible to achieve.

These claims are designed to evoke excitement or urgency but often lack factual basis or any reasonable expectation of delivering what’s promised.

They tend to appeal to emotions, desires, or insecurities in order to manipulate potential buyers into making impulsive purchases.

Here’s one example of such a claim:

“I’ll teach you how to tap into your ex’s primal instincts, fire up her sex drive, and mold the image of you that she has in the back of her mind. Her panties will be dripping wet before you can say, “snufalufagus.” (source).

Here’s another example:

“My program contains a copy-paste scientifically-proven method that will bypass your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends logical brain center and send their emotions into overdrive so they will begin to crave you instantly! And yes, you can perform this secret method from the comfort of the keyboard of your phone, and even if you think there’s no hope for reconciliation and EVEN if your ex told you they don’t want to get back together!” (source)

One more example:

“There is a way to win back your ex, and it works 99 out of every 100 times. Follow the advice in this audiobook, and I guarantee you’ll have him back in your life and back in your heart within a month.”

Sign #5: A person sends you spam emails

Spam emails are unsolicited and often irrelevant messages sent in bulk to a large number of recipients, typically for advertising, phishing, or fraudulent purposes. These emails clutter inboxes and can range from harmless promotional content to harmful scams designed to steal personal information.

There are, thankfully, not many gurus who still use these kinds of emails, but if you look hard enough, you can still find a few bad apples. For example, here’s an excerpt of a spam email:

“I have something shockingly powerful to share with you that turns your wife/gf into an addict for passion and intimacy. This works even if they’re never in the mood. And even if they’re “tired” all the time. Apply this trick today and watch as she can’t get enough of you. This could be the most important few minutes of your week!” (source).

Sign #6: A person uses a bullshit backstory in their sales pitch

Often delivered via a video sales letter, this is a well-articulated but fabricated rags-to-riches story designed to make the person sharing it seem more relatable and trustworthy.

In this story, the guru in question tells you how they faced the same problem you’re facing now and how they eventually solved their problem, always, of course, with the help of whatever product they’re selling.

For context, a bullshit backstory usually starts like this:

Listen, I know exactly what you’re going through. I’ve been through my share of bad breakups… I also felt shocked, sorrowful, betrayed, and anxious. But then I found this [insert fake miracle cure here], and I got my ex back.

In fact, not only did I get them back, but we made it work and are now, as I write this, still together, happier than ever, with a new house, a dog, and two and a half kids…

Sign #7: A person uses fake scarcity

What is scarce will always be perceived as more valuable than what is abundant. It’s a general law in human psychology. And gurus love to abuse the everlasting shit out of it.

That’s why they plaster their sales pages with fake countdown timers or phrases like, “Spots are limited” and “This video may be taken down soon – do NOT miss the end!”

To be fair, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with using scarcity. Granted, you’re honest about it — so if something is genuinely time or quantity-limited. What is wrong, however, is using scarcity when something is in near-infinite abundance. For example, slapping a countdown timer on a sales page for a product that just refreshes every time it reaches zero.

Curious to know whether you’re the subject of fake scarcity? Check out TheWayBackMachine. It’s a free online library that stores previous versions of various websites and makes them accessible to the public. Just slap in the sales page in question and see just how long that special time-limited offer you’ve kept eyeing really went for.

Sign #8: A person lists countless positive reviews for their product

Call me a cynic, but I’d bet my left testicle that most are likely bought, forged, or from affiliates who earn money from selling the product.

If you’re looking for genuine reviews, search the Better Business Bureau. It’s also worth taking a gander at discussions in relevant niche forums and subreddits.

And if the reviews of the sales page in question contain any photos of people, you could also do a reverse image search to see if they’re from real people or just bought on stock photo sites.

Sign #9: A person claims they’re a bestselling Amazon author

Spoiler: almost anyone can be a bestselling author there. Check out this video of a guy making a blank book that sold a measly 49 copies an Amazon Bestseller, for instance.

Always be skeptical of any labels or features online personalities brandish themselves with. Most of the time, they’re bought, not earned.

Who sells them? Almost too many companies to list, but here are a few:

• Lioncrest Publishing.
• Advantage Publishing.
• Speak in Dubai.
• Speak at Harvard.
• Forbes.
• Huffington Post.

Sign #10: A person says you need to do no contact for X days

Bullshit.

I already alluded to why time-sensitive no contact sucks in the intro of this article. I have also unpacked the popularity, ineffectiveness, and lies behind it in this article, this one, and this one.

To recap, however, it’s a marketing trick. People don’t want to hear how their ex should show willingness to mend things by reaching out first before they ever consider getting back together. No, they want to hear what feels good! Wait X days or so and reach out. And since this feel-good approach sells more ex-back products than the painful truth, most “experts“ opt for it.

So what’s my alternative, you ask? Indeifnite no contact. No contact that is permanent — that is, until your ex reaches out. At which point, you focus on getting them on a date.

Not only is this the most effective way of getting back with your ex, to my knowledge, but it’s also the most mature, ethical, and honest one.

Sign #11: A person promotes gimmicks, tricks, or manipulation

A few examples:

• Ignore your ex on purpose when they reach out.
• Make them jealous by, for instance, posting provocative photos of you being touchy-feely with people.
• Get your ex to chase after you all the time.
• Let getting back together be your ex’s idea.
• Wait X days before replying to your ex’s text.
• Always end the conversation first.
• Play hard to get and act indifferent.
• Act as if you’re over the breakup with the aim of provoking anger or doubt in your ex.
• Pretend to have an extremely full schedule to seem more desirable.
• Brag about the other men/women you’re dating.
• Use reverse psychology tricks, like telling your ex how it’s great that you’ve broken up even if you don’t feel like it.
• Send them this pre-made text (i.e., “the good reminder text, the happy memory text, the green-eyed-monster text”).
• Mail them this templated handwritten letter.
• Use ninja texting guff like tapping into an ex’s “hero complex” or psychological hooks to grab their attention.

In my view, all of these are giant flashing neon billboards with the words “Run Away!” written on them.

Sign #12: A person promises that getting back with an ex is “quick and easy”

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that getting back with an ex is actually a long and grueling process. It takes time, patience, and emotional work on both sides. And, to be honest, most people will fail at it.

The idea that there’s a quick fix, a magical formula, or a shortcut is pure fantasy. Relationships are complex, and getting back together after a breakup is even more so.

Any guru who claims to have a foolproof solution for reconciling with an ex is preying on your desperation and vulnerability. They’re selling you hope, not reality.

Looking At The Bright Side

While the ex-back industry is crawling with fake gurus, there is still hope. There are still people out there who are ethical and genuine and who give healthy advice.

These are people like Craig Kenneth, Corey Wayne, or Rory from The Love Chat. These are the people you should learn from. These are the people who seem to actually care.

This article is an opinion and in no way should be construed as statements of fact. Scams, bad business, gurus, and fake gurus are subjective terms that mean different things to different people.

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