Don’t Be Friends With Your Ex (Do This Instead)

As part of my newsletter, The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.

Here’s this week’s edition. Enjoy.

Today’s Idea:

Remaining friends with your ex might seem like a smart way to keep them close, hoping they’ll eventually realize what they lost. But come on — this mentality is rooted in fear and neediness.

You’re not doing yourself any favors by staying in their orbit. In fact, this approach can seriously stall your healing process and diminish your self-worth.

Look, I get it… Friendship with an ex often seems a solid backdoor to romance, but this rarely works out. Instead of offering the closure or connection you’re looking for, it often leads to more emotional pain, confusion, and unnecessary drama.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that staying friends will bring them back; more likely, it will keep you stuck in a limbo of unrequited feelings and false hope.

Today’s Suggestion:

Rather than trying to be friends with your ex, focus on letting go. This might sound counterintuitive, but stepping back and creating distance is by far the healthiest and most effective way to get them back.

Why? Because this approach creates separation anxiety, ignites mystery, and even sparks sexual attraction — all of which are key in increasing the chances of your ex recognizing your value and wanting to reconnect on a deeper, more romantic level.

And let’s be real: this is simply the morally superior approach. Because staying friends with someone you actually want something romantic with is not only dishonest to both of you; it’s also cowardly and shows a lack of strong character. No bueno.

Today’s Resource:

The Do’s And Don’ts Of Being Friends With An Ex?— few relationship questions are as polarizing as if you can be friends with an ex after a breakup. Here’s my best attempt at answering.

As always, feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think. I’ll do my best to get back to you promptly.

Until next time,
Max Jancar

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