On pain, no-contact and feeling better
Welcome to another weekly newsletter, lovingly named the “Beyond The Breakup Newsletter.” I think it sounds cooler. I hope you do too.
It’s the newsletter that provides you with big ideas on how to grow and improve as a person and build better relationships so you can avoid a future breakup.
sign up and join the adventure!
Along with the fancy weekly newsletter, I’m also going to give you access to 4 exercises that will help you stop obsessing over your ex as soon as you sign up.
Today we’re talking about the following topics:
- Your ex is suffering too
- No-contact is not about your ex; it’s about you
- A fun 13-step process to feeling better about your breakup
So here’s the scoop, guys, and gals.
YOUR EX IS SUFFERING TOO
So yeah, I know the drill. You’re suffering out of your mind one day due to that traumatic breakup. You think the world is against you or feel like it collapsed on you. Well, if it makes you feel any better, your ex is probably feeling the same way, even if they were the dumper.
There’s a standard error in the human mind amid breakups. You see, we think we’re the only ones suffering. But that is far from the truth. Your ex is suffering too. They are, just like you, pondering and reflecting on their lost relationship – even grieving.
So think about that when while you’re denouncing the world for butt-fucking you. Even better, think of all the other people that have it way worse. Your suffering is far from extraordinary or even remotely unique. And that’s great!
Because now you know that you’re never really suffering alone.
The next step?
Find someone who is also suffering from a breakup, be that via Facebook, Reddit, or other random forums spattered around the internet, and have a chat with them.
NO-CONTACT IS NOT ABOUT YOUR EX; IT’S ABOUT YOU
No-contact is a technique where you refrain from contacting your ex in any way, shape, or form for an X amount of days – or forever.
Now some people engage in this technique for the sake of making their ex miss them, or so they can at some point get them back. This, my dear reader, is the wrong way to think about no-contact.
I don’t care if you at some point wish to get your ex back or not; no- contact is not about winning them back. (That comes later if it’s your goal.) It’s about winning you back.
So go and do just that. Win yourself back from the clutches of grief and sorrow. Find yourself again, rebuild your self-esteem, regain your confidence, and learn to trust yourself again. And be patient. Always be patient. You won’t heal overnight, probably not for the next few months. But all in all, the pain you carry today will pass in the future.
A fun 13 step process to feeling better about your loss
Feel like shit because of your breakup?
Are you shedding tears the size of cannonballs?
Do you want to punch someone, or perhaps even bitchslap someone…?
If so, perfect! I have the cure you’re looking for. The remedy for feeling better again! No, I’m not joking. It’s neatly packaged in a frisky 13 step process. Observe:
Step 1: Look at this picture.
Step 2: Cool, right? Now, stop taking yourself and your life so damn seriously. It’s absurd and only a cause of unnecessary stress.
Step 3: Take a shot of whiskey or something similar. (Skip this step if you’re a) an alcoholic, b) already drunk, or c) 15 years old or less.)
Step 4: Take a look at this photo:
Step 5: Realize your problems are not all that special and, most certainly, nothing compared to the ones of these people.
Step 6: Slap yourself. Maybe more than once…
Step 7: Realize how the pain from those slaps combined with your breakup’s pain is still nowhere near the suffering holocaust survivors in the photo felt.
Step 8: Feel guilty and weird for thinking your breakup is life-shattering or far worse than it really is.
Step 9: Slap yourself again. It’s just fun to watch. (I’m sorry)
Step 10: Forgive yourself for feeling guilty. Then forgive your ex while you’re at it. (Maybe even try to forgive me for wanting to see you slap yourself.)
Step 11: Learn from your breakup, accept the bleak reality, the meaningless of life, and that you’ll get through this one way or another – like every other person. And then, in the future, you’ll even laugh about the whole thing.
Step 12: Socialize, meditate, journal, cry, eat, and – hell – drink some more!
Step 13: Read more of my shit 🙂