20 Horrible Tips The “Get Your Ex Back” Gurus Give You

by By Max Jancar | Last Updated: April 11, 2021

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Ah, yes, the “get your ex back” gurus, or fake gurus for short. You’ve read their blogs. You’ve seen their Youtube videos. You know their names. 

They all peacock as some authority and sell a flashy online program that promises to make your ex love, lust, and obsess over you once you apply the (often questionable) techniques, tricks, and mind games found inside.

These gurus claim that their programs contain all the secrets that will obliterate any resentment your ex harbors towards you and replace it with raw and unyielding love — no matter the circumstances.

Whether those claims are explicitly stated or merely implied, you probably know that they’re like the Toothfairy, that is, made up.

But there’s something much worse that the “get your ex back” gurus do than producing over-the-top product claims: they give harmful advice. 

The kind that’s sole purpose is to get you to buy their shit, the kind that lowers your chances of getting an ex back instead of raising them, the kind that morphs you into an inauthentic, unattractive and shallow person.

This article will list 20 instances of that kind of advice, or tips per se. Hopefully, it expands your awareness and helps you develop a solid bullshit detector for the many ex-back-scams out there.

You can also think of this listicle as the 20 fake guru red flags. Meaning, if someone on the internet who sells a get-your-ex-back program gives you any of the following advice, chances are, they’re a scam.

1. Getting your ex back is easy, simple, and quick. Getting your ex back is not easy, simple, and quick, nor are the odds in your favor. I wrote about this topic extensively before, but here’s the gist: A study proved that only 15% of 3000+ breakup survivors got their ex back and stayed with them. (1)

Also, don’t bother typing “the odds of getting an ex back” into Google. I’ve done the research for you. The statistics are all cherrypicked, generalized, or heavily distorted.

2. Getting your ex back is easy, simple, and quick… if you just buy my course. Againgetting your ex back is not easy, simple, or quick. And I don’t care if you bought the best get-your-ex-back course out there. In fact, those courses will often hinder your chances of success rather than increase them since they all rely on the idea that you need to reach out to your ex at some point and inspire persuade them to return.

Newsflash, that’s called being a needy, overcompensating, and manipulative asshole. It’s unattractive, and it will fail. If not in the short term, certainly in the long. 

3. You can text your ex back. Like with every method of getting an ex back, there is a fraction of a chance that it’ll work. So, yeah, you can text your ex back. It does happen. But still, you shouldn’t do it because as soon as you do, you take on the identity of that needy, overcompensating, and manipulative asshole we mentioned earlier. 

4. The purpose of the no-contact rule is to win your ex back. The purpose of the no-contact rule is to psychologically, physically, and spiritually detach yourself from your ex and win yourself back. Put differently, it’s not about them; it’s about you. Any other use of the no contact rule — whether that’s to make your ex chase, miss, or obsess over you — is fucking disgusting. Yes, it works, but sometimes things that work are things you shouldn’t do.

5. You need to participate in no contact for 30, 45, 60, or 90 days. No contact should therefore be permanent, not done only in a period of X days. Also, don’t think of no contact as a technique but a lifestyle — one that’s devoid (or semi-devoid in certain situations) of your ex. Only with this mindset will you grow from your breakup and truly improve the odds of getting them back.

6. You should ignore your ex. If your ex reaches out at some point, it’s unfair to ignore them. If you want them back, take that opportunity to invite them on a date, and if you wish to move on, tell them to contact you some other time because you’re trying to move on. It’s that simple. 

7. You should make your ex jealous. There’s a notion that making your ex jealous, by, for example, posting pictures with hot people of the opposite sex on your social media, will make them want you more. Hate to say it, but it works. However, like with all mind-games, it’s not fair to your ex. Manipulation is probably the douchebagiest move you can make. I like to think that there’s a special place in hell for people who do these kinds of things.

8. You should make your ex miss and chase you. Like with the previous two points, this strategy will most often backfire. Most exes aren’t stupid. They will feel that what you’re doing is staged and fake. Therefore, you’ll most likely blow your chances of ever rekindling things.

9. Reverse psychology will make your ex love you again. Sure… for a few weeks! Then they’ll realize you’re just putting on a facade and playing them and the next thing you know, they’ll cut you out of their life for good  — as they should in that case!

10. You should let getting back together be your exes idea. For the last time, you’re playing mind games. Stop it. It’s pathetic.

11. Love is a game that is meant to be played. That’s usually the excuse “get your ex back” gurus use before they inundate you with a litany of mind games, tricks, pre-prepared texts, and scripts that will somehow deceive your ex to come back to you. Also, thinking of love as a game, in general, is not a good way to build a lasting relationship with someone.

12. I’m a bestselling author and you should trust me. Best selling author where? Amazon? The platform where a person with 49 book sales in an obscure category became a best-selling author on? Come on, man. 99% of the time, the “bestselling author” label — like most other labels (i.e., Seen on Forbes.) — is bought, not earned. 

13. These people got outstanding results so you should buy my stuff. Most testimonials these days, written or in-video, are forged or bought. It’s really not difficult to do. Even I’ve done it in the past. It’s a shame, but the whole fake-testimonial fiasco became a default strategy in most industries, especially self-help related ones.

14. Take this quiz and determine the exact chances of getting your ex back.  Most of the time, these quizzes are nothing more than a lead magnet instead of a tool designed to give you an accurate result. The only reason you see quizzes on every “get your ex back” themed site is because they convert well. They do an excellent job at enticing people to give their email through which they will now be subjected to daily guru sales pitches. Everyone likes those…

15. Send your ex a love/apology/XYZ letter. The letter technique boils down to sending your ex, as the name says, a letter where you apologize for whatever you’ve done and try to convince them that you’ve changed and deserve another shot at your relationship. It’s cringey, and rarely works. Please revert from writing one. 

16. Watch my free case study/webinar/masterclass. Ever fell for this one? You start digesting a piece of content that promises to solve a specific problem only to later realize it’s full of fluff, and there’s a Burj Khalifa long, brain-melting sales pitch at the end.

17. I have a secret that will make your ex run back to you. Bitch, it’s the internet. There are no secrets. You can find virtually everything you’d ever need for free with a quick Google search, and this especially goes for advice on getting an ex back.

18. My online program has a ton of 5-star reviews. Take that claim with a grain of salt. Roughly speaking, most positive reviews are paid for, or the person writing them is an affiliate for the product they are writing the review for. Why do you think so many people recommend Brad Browning’s X-factor guide despite it being a shoddy product? Because they get paid a hefty commission whenever you purchase it from their affiliate site. (2)

19. I usually sell this for 147$, but for a limited time only, you can get it for 47$. A classic marketer trick. Inflate the original price of a product, then heavily discount it to create an elusion that you’re getting an incredible deal. Don’t buy into it. The product never sold for the crossed-out (initial) price. It’s just a cheap trick to get you to buy faster.

20. You can get your ex back. Just believe in yourself. I won’t bullshit you with the pathetic “Rah, rah, you’re awesome, you can do it,” tone most fake gurus and self-help junkies do. Chances are, you won’t get your ex back. Ever. Sorry, but this is the truth that may be unpleasant to hear. However, here’s the sunny side of that coin. You’ll get over your ex . You’ll move on. You’ll rebuild your life. I know this isn’t easy to believe right now, but it’s the truth. Eventually, you’ll be fine.